To A New year

all I know about life is that I am turning fifteen in six days
and I am impossibly sadder than when I was thirteen
all I know is the weather is getting colder and more bitter
but not nearly as much as my heart that persists in beating
all I know is that it's the 31st and tomorrow is another year
yet I still feel abandoned and alone with nothing to call my own
now this may seem like enough to know
but the one thing I really need
is the one thing I don't know and
don't think I ever will
and that
is how to save myself