Wallflower

I pretend to hate humanity
When really I cannot stay mad at anyone
for more than a few hours
Too forgiving, and a bit naive
Used more times than I've been the user
But I say it backwards to dispose of the
self hatred
I pretend to despise the girls and boys who party every weekend
The teens who brag about the memories
they cannot remember
Maybe I just want to experience my whole body vibrating from the blaring music
And laugh with friends about how hangovers are a curse from Satan the next morning
As opposed to being an insomniac
who stares at the ceiling at 3 a.m.
on a Friday night
I like to tell myself that I am the artistic type
Someone who will end up at a college in a cozy little funky town
Filled with cafes and vintage clothing shops
And men who take you to indie concerts
and quote Edgar Allan Poe during
conversations
But I do not fit in with that crowd completely
Or any crowd for that matter
That book lied
There are not perks to being a wallflower