Bridget's Rules to Live By and Things to Remember

Sleep in as long and as often as you can
(Remember;
artists stay up late
businessmen wake up early)
Never wear pants before 10 am
Its only awkward if you make it
Scream in places you shouldn't
Cry a lot
Sober people pee in toilets,
Drunk people pee everywhere else
Cats are not the only ones with nine lives
Its okay to have small boobs
You should never be bored
Always take advantage of bouncy houses and ball pits
B****ing makes you bitter
Everybody farts
Prepare to be unprepared
What the hell is 'normal'?
Sometimes smart people do stupid things
Someone someday will break your heart,
Before you can break theirs
Drugs are bad, MMMKAY
Tip generously, even when you're broke
Laugh a lot
Shut up, mermaids are real
Break the dress code
In fact, just break rules in general
Dude, calm your s***,
Jesus was the only perfect person to ever live
DO NOT allow your heart to die
The End is a load of horse piss
Sometimes asking for help
Is the most mature, independent thing to do
Have hella good grammar dawg
Never ever ever give up
ever
Dads typically take the crappiest pictures
Stress will make you projectile vomit
So will nicotine patches
Very few people can weather the storm
Even fewer can weather them all
And
You're damn lucky
If you got someone
Who's willing to carry you
When your feet get sore
Or blessed
One of the two