precautionary measures

unraveled my chest cavity
with fraying shoelace zippers,
crows foot smile lines
ripped away from my face
like half formed scabs,

when I picture you with her --
evaporate my stomach lining,
acid dissolving the knot of steel tendrils
and spider web
just below my stomach,
I don't want to remember.

I wish I could force the pain away
there are girls here
smarter than you,
more beautiful,
more interested in me,
that like the same music,
but I don't love any of them,
none of them are you.

none of them
pulled a ripcord tendon
in my throat
disappeared in an explosion
of parachute
sobbing five in the mornings
and left me to
free
fall
with

nothing


but




ardently








laceless















sneakers.