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I Take Back My Tears MAG
September 5, 2008
I take back my tears
the wasted years
I spent crying
for what never could happen
I take back my heart
my shattered heart
Up off the ground
and back in my arms
I take back my hope
wasted on you
and toss it aside
for it has no meaning now
Nothing you say
no words
no songs
can heal the bleeding wound
That you opened again and again
I walk a free woman
held by nothing of yours
and fly away free
as free as the wind
© Ankaret E., Brampton, England
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This article has 535 comments.
familysize50 said...
on Feb. 19 2016 at 9:05 am
This is worded nicely and I feel like a lot of people can relate to this poem.
Drew52 said...
on Feb. 19 2016 at 8:11 am
I really like the repetition and rhyme scheme you use!
theone said...
on Feb. 19 2016 at 8:01 am
This is a great poem, good rhyme and repetition. Along with a great meaning.
In a few words you actually replicate the precise feeling felt by many people. Amazing. Thank you for being born. If you don't mind, it'd be awesome sauce if you could check out my poem, TeenInk.com/poetry/free_verse/article/854005/Glove-and-Oak/ Thank you talented person!!
Love_Live_Write BRONZE said...
on Jan. 6 2016 at 2:09 pm
I really like the repetition used! It really drilled in the point as well as her decision!
Randz said...
on Jan. 6 2016 at 7:21 am
That was so good!
LittleRedDeliriousPrince SILVER said...
on Nov. 23 2015 at 2:16 pm
This is amazing!
Iamwhoiam17 GOLD said...
on May. 27 2015 at 3:12 am
That is great!! Please check out my poem and like it please!: TeenInk.com/poetry/free_verse/article/709809/MeWho-i-want-to-be/
Ashelyn Pindell BRONZE said...
on Oct. 16 2012 at 10:38 pm
Sorry that was meant to be its own seperate comment not a reply.
Ashelyn Pindell BRONZE said...
on Oct. 16 2012 at 10:34 pm
I have one word to describe this poem and that is cliche."I take back my tears -- the wasted years". This poem is clearly about a person taking back all the heartache they wasted on another person. But my question for you is this: how many times in how many poems, movies, books, songs, etc. have you heard this same sentiment repeated? This poem would perhaps be a bit more interesting if you had somehow found a different more thought provoking way to convey your meaning. The imagery was also very cliche. Again how many times have you heard "shattered heart" or "bleeding wound"? My main advice for you would be to find some originality. And I'm confused. The last two stanzas in relation to eachother make no sense. In the second to last stanza you say that this person left you with a "bleeding wound" that can never be healed. Then, in the last stanza you claim that the person has no affect on you "I walk a free woman held by nothing of yours" Wouldn't you be "held" by the never healing "wound" that person left on you? All in all I have to say that this poem needs revision...badly.
DemetriaSH BRONZE said...
on Oct. 16 2012 at 2:32 pm
I believe that I must start by saying that your effort towards writing a successful poem that evoked emotion was average. As the reader read through the poem, it was quite clear that the character was hurt. Although you made this obvious, other confusing components worked agaisnt you. In the first staza you stated "I take back my tears the wasted years I spent crying for what never could happen". I'm unclear as to what didn't happen and why she is all of a sudden taking back her tears? Why is she crying? Why should the reader feel emotion towards her crying and her situation? You proceded to tell the reader that the character's heart had been shattered and that she was picking it up off of the ground. Your metaphor here was okay but again, what is the situation at hand? What point are you trying to get across to the reader? Your third stanza seemed to be out of place with the rest of the poem. The character has seemed to have moved on and she does have a sense of anger and regret but would she toss her hope aside? Has the character really reached the point of completly giving up? The flow of the poem should be more developed so that the reader has the full picture. The fourth stanza states that the character had been hurt repeatedly. This piece of the poem does bring about a sense of sympathy and plays on the readers own emotions, experiences, current situations, etc. This is a strong element in your poem. Your final stanza seemed to have a "bow tie" ending. Not to say that there is anything wrong with a happy ending but maybe a different ending would be more relatable and effective. Over all, the concept was believable and realistic. The poem needs more development and revision. Rework.
KiraVogt2896 SILVER said...
on Oct. 9 2012 at 6:16 pm
Good job on your poem! I loved it! :)
justliveyourlife02 BRONZE said...
on Oct. 9 2012 at 5:03 pm
I couldn't agree more.
Music-Maniac1498 BRONZE said...
on Oct. 9 2012 at 10:24 am
I disagree with @abcd. I really like this poem. Many people can relate to it. The only reason it is "hackneyed" (or whatever the word is) is because many people go through this exact thing. You did an excellent job on this poem. Not many girls see that you don't need a man to feel good about yourself and that is eactly what you're saying in this poem! Ladies, be strong!!
DifferentTeen PLATINUM said...
on Sep. 17 2012 at 6:05 pm
I agree with abcd.
