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Cotton Candy MAG
October 25, 2008
puffs of sweet fiberglass
dissolve into pink crystals
on the pinnacle of my tongue.
they fall like tickled icicles
puncturing the walls
of my abdomen.
still I consume
the addicting substance,
permitting my body
to slowly commit suicide.
© Hannah B., Princeton, IL
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 164 comments.
PerfectMGymnast DIAMOND said...
on Dec. 31 2010 at 7:40 pm
I love this poem!! It's really good! Especially the ending! it ends the poem well!!! :) I also like the whole idea of the poem. You must have worked so hard on this!! I think you should send it in to teen ink and try to get it published ont he website!!! :) Also can you please take a look at my writing- The cul-de-sac and The watering hole (That are published on this website) And please rate and comment on them?? It would be greatly appreciated!! THANKS!!! :) :)
ldanalkw said...
on Dec. 14 2010 at 1:15 pm
its suppose to be McDonald, jeez
ilovereplying said...
on Dec. 14 2010 at 1:11 pm
nice comment man
s,ndfnjdslkf gklwdngfs said...
on Dec. 14 2010 at 1:09 pm
agreed
s,ndfnjdslkf gklwdngfs said...
on Dec. 14 2010 at 1:07 pm
I KNOW! It touches me!
s,ndfnjdslkf gklwdngfs said...
on Dec. 14 2010 at 1:06 pm
Yes I know
s,ndfnjdslkf gklwdngfs said...
on Dec. 14 2010 at 1:05 pm
Yes yes it does
xSkittleBugx BRONZE said...
on Dec. 9 2010 at 9:15 am
very interesting. good work. its all very truthful, and its about cotton candy which is a very delightful, once in awhile, snack. keep up the good work!
Shanny! <3 said...
on Nov. 17 2010 at 2:17 pm
This poem is the shortest poem I've every read but you do have a ponit!
madison.stewart. SILVER said...
on Nov. 17 2010 at 12:48 pm
I love how this is about a drug, but uses cotton candy for metaphor! Such an innocent used to descride such a horrible thing. Good job!
Fiddlerkat BRONZE said...
on Oct. 30 2010 at 7:04 pm
It's an interesting poem, that's for sure. Some of the words seemed a bit formal for the subject matter (i.e. "pinnacle") but this irony created an unexpected comic layer. :D
qwertyqwerty123 PLATINUM said...
on Oct. 29 2010 at 12:33 am
i'm really confused... i thought it was about cotton candy. i guess that's why i didn't get the poem...
SecretSasha SILVER said...
on Oct. 27 2010 at 2:09 pm
I love this poem! I could almost taste it on my tongue :)
Haha. I love how everyone think it's really about cotton candy. Nice one! I really love how you used an extended metaphor for drugs in the form of cotton candy. It's a great metaphor to use because cotton candy just seems so... innocent. Until you cross it with meth, of course. Keep at it!
SpringRayyn PLATINUM said...
on Oct. 26 2010 at 4:51 pm
COTTON CANDY KILLS PEOPLE???????
Crispy said...
on Oct. 26 2010 at 7:23 am
I loved this poem. It was very descriptive and I can relate because I love cotton candy. :)
Photo_97 said...
on Sep. 12 2010 at 12:33 pm
i deff.agree keep it up! i love it.
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