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Cotton Candy MAG

October 25, 2008
By freedomfighter97 BRONZE, Lake Ann, Michigan
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freedomfighter97 BRONZE, Lake Ann, Michigan
1 article 0 photos 11 comments
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puffs of sweet fiberglass
dissolve into pink crystals
on the pinnacle of my tongue.

they fall like tickled icicles
puncturing the walls
of my abdomen.

still I consume
the addicting substance,
permitting my body
to slowly commit suicide.

© Hannah B., Princeton, IL

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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 164 comments.

Shay. BRONZE said...
on Sep. 12 2010 at 11:22 am
Shay. BRONZE, Dayton, Wyoming
3 articles 0 photos 4 comments
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Haha. This is beautiful!
winy.coronadoo SILVER said...
on Aug. 21 2010 at 12:45 pm
winy.coronadoo SILVER, New Haven, Connecticut
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I love this poem! It has all the five senses and reader can clearly picture the scenario!
katiepickelsimer GOLD said...
on Jul. 30 2010 at 1:00 am
katiepickelsimer GOLD, Dededo, Other
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Throw your dreams into space like a kite, and you do not know what it will bring back, a new life, a new friend, a new love.<br /> <br /> -Anais Nin

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This poem is really good so I tagged it as one of my favorites:) It was sweet to dedicate it to your brother:)
WritingLoverForever PLATINUM said...
on Jul. 8 2010 at 8:31 pm
WritingLoverForever PLATINUM, Bowling Green, Ohio
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This is amazing! Seriously, I'm blown away. It's beautifully written and has such a unique description. I especially loved the suicide part. Great job on this. And could you check out some of my work please?
poeticspirit12334 PLATINUM said...
on Jul. 8 2010 at 1:40 pm
poeticspirit12334 PLATINUM, Groesbeck, Texas
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this is good !! hope to read more of your stuff!!
pieluver BRONZE said...
on Jul. 8 2010 at 12:41 pm
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i lurv the way u worded everything but is the cotton candy stand for like drugs cause it seems as if i does in today's world and u can never be sure so... back to the point i rally loved ur piece. =) hope to see more
sabortooth1 said...
on Jul. 8 2010 at 10:25 am
sabortooth1, Logan, Utah
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Please read the book review of The Kite Runner.  Just search "The Kite Runner" and it is about the third green highlighted one.  Very Inspiring! Rate/Comment it
ThatClarinetPerson SILVER said...
on Jul. 8 2010 at 8:23 am
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hahaha. this is cute. i love cotten candy :)
trblue GOLD said...
on Jul. 8 2010 at 5:46 am
trblue GOLD, Richmond, Virginia
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were their is a stonge use of

wording.

but i give you a standing-O.

for talking about food. some take

the going with a funny storie and 

some compare it to other things,

like you just did verry good. 

beautiful_tragedy BRONZE said...
on Jun. 23 2010 at 8:58 pm
beautiful_tragedy BRONZE, Cincinnati, Ohio
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i love the strong word choice, the imagery is amazing! i can picture it perfectly. simply beautiful.
outtatheblueeddie BRONZE said...
on Jun. 16 2010 at 11:18 pm
outtatheblueeddie BRONZE, Fairfax, Virginia
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I love the suicide part, Ussally when pepole us suicide they use it in a negitive way but you gave the reader a since of relaxation and i really like that.
Writingstar SILVER said...
on Jun. 16 2010 at 1:29 pm
Writingstar SILVER, Hayward, California
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you were very descriptive good job
thezebrasgray PLATINUM said...
on Jun. 16 2010 at 11:21 am
thezebrasgray PLATINUM, Taylorsville, Utah
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very good, except the flow is a bit unnatural for me
RawyaAviva SILVER said...
on May. 25 2010 at 6:28 pm
RawyaAviva SILVER, Tuolumne, California
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You did a beautiful job with this.Each sentence drips with imagery and the words seem to flow off your pen. I would just like to remind everyone that freedom fighter the author explains earlier what this poem is about and it is not what any one is saying. And guoxiang it is not rude to ask others to check out your work on the comments section. We are all young writers and this sight is a chance to discover and be discovered by others writers. This is a sharing website and there is nothing wrong with reading some ones work and in return possibly asking them to read yours! Once again i love this poem!!!
Magic-Fishbone-13 BRONZE said...
on May. 25 2010 at 2:27 pm
Magic-Fishbone-13 BRONZE, London, Other
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May i say very nicly done

I love the way you hid the maening of the, um... 'cotton candy'

really good :D

savagivity777 said...
on May. 25 2010 at 11:17 am
savagivity777, Sante Fe, New Mexico
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I think my heart beat just stopped. Who'll.
Crying_Tears SILVER said...
on May. 25 2010 at 9:31 am
Crying_Tears SILVER, SL,UT, Utah
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What is the cotton candy supposed to symbolize? Or is it just that, cotton candy?
Alice_in_Wonderland GOLD said...
on May. 3 2010 at 10:52 pm
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Good job I could almost see and taste the cotton candy.
emilllydubinn SILVER said...
on May. 3 2010 at 10:40 pm
emilllydubinn SILVER, Marlboro, New Jersey
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love the descriptiveness. in a way, not really about cotton candy i feel.
sparkofheart GOLD said...
on May. 3 2010 at 9:53 pm
sparkofheart GOLD, Plymouth, Minnesota
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very cool. very descriptive. veryy....unique. but i loved it! good work keep it up :)