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Along the Way MAG

November 29, 2008
By Andrew Dobies GOLD, Long Grove, Illinois
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Andrew Dobies GOLD, Long Grove, Illinois
11 articles 0 photos 2 comments
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How many faces and birthdays will I come to remember
before my eyes shut for the last time
and I find myself in that closet I hid in that smelled of laundry softener
in the third grade because I didn’t belong in a girl’s house?
How many fingers and palms and fingernails
will I see amid how many trees, swinging green and happy branches in the spring
like the clasped hands of middle aged lovers who left the kids at home with a babysitter
so they could go for an afternoon walk?
I imagine there will be enough smiles and enough tears
that if I wanted to I could flood the city of New York
and swim through those blurred lights in the dead of an August night
and sing along with the crickets and the distorted sound of drowned car horns.
Hopefully I’ll have a bag of forehead wrinkles and boxes full of voices
from teachers and friends and train conductors
who say the most unimportant things like “May I see your ticket?”
Hopefully there will be shoes and coats from parties
and sloppy kisses on doorsteps in cold January nights
where my breath will be visible in the air and the ice near my feet
will sparkle and gleam in the periodic flicker of the dying bulb
in her porch light.
Even if things go wrong,
at least there will be the smell of honeysuckle and sweat
in my mother’s hair as she held me to her chest as I came fresh from the womb
and there will always be those fluorescent lights.

© Erek S., Wolfforth, TX

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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 216 comments.

deardiary BRONZE said...
on Mar. 26 2010 at 11:25 am
deardiary BRONZE, Saskatoon, Other
3 articles 0 photos 65 comments

Favorite Quote:
It is a truth universally acknowedged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife. -Pride and Prejudice

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I like the bag of forehead wrinkles :p
blazey BRONZE said...
on Mar. 26 2010 at 4:12 am
blazey BRONZE, Buffalo Grove, Illinois
4 articles 4 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
Great minds think alike, Albert Enstien

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It's ok, the line breaks are really bad need some working on, instead of saying things flat out a bit more show don't tell would be better, also more imagery less ranting, on a scale of 1-10 i would give it a 5(1/2) maybe 5 due to the lines and certain stanzas that need to be moved around to fit the poem better. very good idea though, can kinda see what the author was trying to project.
afosnight BRONZE said...
on Mar. 4 2010 at 9:59 pm
afosnight BRONZE, Mantua, Ohio
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wow. this is a really good poem. wish i could write that well
1COR13 PLATINUM said...
on Mar. 4 2010 at 9:23 pm
1COR13 PLATINUM, Anchor Point, Alaska
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Favorite Quote:
&quot;When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace.&quot; - Jimmi Hendrix

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This is a beautiful poem.
Sabrinahco GOLD said...
on Mar. 4 2010 at 5:38 pm
Sabrinahco GOLD, Jefferson City, Missouri
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I LOVE this. Just, wow.
Lovejunky123 said...
on Mar. 4 2010 at 4:59 pm
Lovejunky123, East Meadow, New York
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It was AMAZING!!
CountryGothic GOLD said...
on Mar. 4 2010 at 3:27 pm
CountryGothic GOLD, Somersworth, New Hampshire
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&quot;Once something has been said, it cannot be said in other words.&quot; -Aristotle

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I like this, it could use some sorting through but generally it's quite good.
writergirl13 GOLD said...
on Mar. 4 2010 at 3:20 pm
writergirl13 GOLD, Cherry Hill, New Jersey
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Favorite Quote:
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.<br /> Ambrose Bierce

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amazing!! :)
Heffygrl said...
on Mar. 4 2010 at 10:55 am
this is somewhat confusing but it is inspiring.
sonnysulouff BRONZE said...
on Feb. 10 2010 at 7:58 pm
sonnysulouff BRONZE, Clarendon Hills, Illinois
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Love it... the author is so much more optimistic than i am! its refreshing to see
MexRicanWave14 said...
on Feb. 10 2010 at 6:25 pm
This is really good. I think that this author has their feet on the ground, but their head in the clouds. (I know 'cause I'm the same that way)
whisperingofdawn GOLD said...
on Feb. 10 2010 at 5:43 pm
whisperingofdawn GOLD, Colorado City, Arizona
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very... vivid. i love it!
you should check out a story that i got 111% on!
http ://www.teenink .com /nonfiction/personal_experience/article/153289/Just-a-Bus-Note/
Bambi3226 SILVER said...
on Feb. 10 2010 at 1:32 pm
Bambi3226 SILVER, Grants, New Mexico
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&quot;Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever.&quot; - Lance Armstrong

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Thats a pretty awesome poem...
Michellebrain GOLD said...
on Feb. 10 2010 at 9:14 am
Michellebrain GOLD, Brooklyn, New York
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Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;A wise girl kisses but doesn&#039;t love, listens but doesn&#039;t believe, and leaves before she is left.&rdquo; <br /> -Marilyn Monroe

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I really loved this-please check out my poems and stories!
AmeVoleur BRONZE said...
on Feb. 10 2010 at 2:03 am
AmeVoleur BRONZE, Kaikoura, Other
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I loved this! I love the message too.

Please check out my poem Wish :)
ReneetheGreat PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 30 2010 at 6:58 pm
ReneetheGreat PLATINUM, Castle Rock, Colorado
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I love the message that you portrayed through this piece, it shows how much we can get out of life, even if it isnt perfect. I loved it!
hi,randomperson. GOLD said...
on Jan. 19 2010 at 9:42 pm
hi,randomperson. GOLD, Fall City, Washington
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This is really good, check out my work please!!!
jimmy_a GOLD said...
on Dec. 29 2009 at 12:41 am
jimmy_a GOLD, Sanford, North Carolina
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Look for me, not with a flashlight but open your heart n free your soul n there my love i shall be

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great poem i totually loved it
kristina said...
on Dec. 28 2009 at 5:49 pm
hey wat's up
sleeplessdreamer PLATINUM said...
on Dec. 28 2009 at 2:31 pm
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Wow... wow... that's really all I can say. So different and it flows so beautifully. Incredible... you have a gift. Keep writing!