Late Night Realizations | Teen Ink

Late Night Realizations

May 18, 2014
By kirstxn BRONZE, San Angelo, Texas
kirstxn BRONZE, San Angelo, Texas
2 articles 0 photos 0 comments

I put my headphones in my ears
so they are sheltered
from the ignorance
that seeps from their lips
and into my eardrums, drumming
a rhythm only they can understand.

I think to myself, “No one understands.”
Sometimes I wish that my heart would stop beating because of the words that reverberate in my ears.
Up late at night and early into the morning, I listen to my heart drumming
within my ribcage, barely sheltered
from the spiteful words that have escaped their lips.
“Someone understands,” the truth sifts through my mind, yet I remain ignorant.

My ignorance
is what makes me wish that my heart would stop beating. “No one understands.”
When I finally escape the voices inside my head, blood trails across my bottom lip
from biting it so hard as I tried to focus on the physical pain instead of the emotional as their words rang in my ears,
pointing out my every flaw. I keep myself up at night, no longer sheltered
from their ignorance. Everything falls silent but my heart races in my ears, within me relentlessly drumming.

I feel the beat of my heart pumping through my veins, drumming
in my ears, reminding me that I’m beautifully alive and that is what matters right now. “Avoid their toxic ignorance,
for it will poison your mind and transform you into the vulnerable and unsheltered.
Someone is out there for you that loves you for who you are; someone who understands
and loves every hill and valley of your beautiful body. Someone will whisper endless I Love You’s into your ears
drowning out the insults they once launched at you. Love will make you invincible. Your lover will kiss you on the lips

reminding you that nothing else matters, igniting you from the inside out. Your lover will kiss you on the lips
and you will bask in their ignorant words, your heart drumming
a steady rhythm that will ignite something inside you that you have never accessed. Listen contentedly with your ears
and understand with every atrium of your heart, knowing that they will achieve nothing with ignorance.
Know that someone understands
because you are not alone; learn that there is no need for shelter

from ignorance, because being sheltered
means that you are vulnerable to hurt. Let your lips
only speak words of truth; words that their ignorant minds will never understand
and to the rhythm of your truth allow their toxic hearts to drum
with spite and sheer ignorance.
Let the blood ring like oceans in their ears.

They will understand you with such idiotic ignorance that everything will become crystal clear
as their hearts drum and their lips quiver with fear.
One day, the spiteful words will seep into their own ears and they will know how it feels to crave shelter.”



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