When I was young
And still saw the world as it was from my father’s shoulders
Numb was the feeling I got
When I drank an icee too fast
Or the doctor filled me with anesthetic
And told me “this will only hurt for a second”
When the wind was so strong it blew my hair back
And my fingers were deep in the pockets of my jacket
The way my head felt at 11 o’clock
When my mom lifted me off the couch and carried me to bed
Now I know it is much more than that
It’s when everyone cries and I should feel bad
It’s the feeling that settled when I push everything down
Way too far for me to ever get back
Numb is the way I feel
When I’m crossing the road and a car gets too near
When I think of what happens after death
When a blade caresses my skin
Or I lose the air I hope I never get back
Numb is the feeling of your hands on me
Of the protests that fall on deaf ears
Of the sound of your name when you leave
Numb is the feeling that is default for me