All Nonfiction
- Bullying
- Books
- Academic
- Author Interviews
- Celebrity interviews
- College Articles
- College Essays
- Educator of the Year
- Heroes
- Interviews
- Memoir
- Personal Experience
- Sports
- Travel & Culture
All Opinions
- Bullying
- Current Events / Politics
- Discrimination
- Drugs / Alcohol / Smoking
- Entertainment / Celebrities
- Environment
- Love / Relationships
- Movies / Music / TV
- Pop Culture / Trends
- School / College
- Social Issues / Civics
- Spirituality / Religion
- Sports / Hobbies
All Hot Topics
- Bullying
- Community Service
- Environment
- Health
- Letters to the Editor
- Pride & Prejudice
- What Matters
- Back
Summer Guide
- Program Links
- Program Reviews
- Back
College Guide
- College Links
- College Reviews
- College Essays
- College Articles
- Back
Our Relationship Would Be Easier If You Could Just Play Nice MAG
She emitted a snarl that warned
of her vermilion rage,
and seized the shiny, silver toaster
(my breakfast cookware of choice)
and brandished it above her head
with threats of defenestration.
Oh dear, how will I ever create
exquisite frozen waffle dinners?
In one gnashing breath, she shrieked
and launched a rocket full of profanities
my way while simultaneously dumping
(with excessive grace) my gleaming
toaster into our saltwater aquarium.
Save the fishes!
You’re not listening to me, are you?
No, not really. I know better.
Your words lose all sense of direction
when you are worked up like this, my dear.
Her cyan eyes flashed another warning –
the Doppler radar is forecasting severe storms.
Be prepared for anything, brace yourself.
I attempted to pacify the raging tempest; still
she captured some large wooden spoons
and red rubber spatulas (safe to 450°F)
(among other blameless bystanders to our fight)
and hurled them with unfailing inaccuracy.
With a splashing slap to my face, she snatched
her keys from the counter and with a BANG
stormed from our apartment for the last time.
Similar Articles
JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 276 comments.
very very good work. it made me laugh in a few parts but it deffinetly got the point across well. keep up the good work.
and maybe you could check out some of my stuff
Haha, I don't know if the intension was leaning towards the comedic persuasion, but the inner monolauging consisting of (safe up to 450* and Save the Fishes!) created a lovely between the heat if her anger and the weight of emotions. Great job! I really enjoyed it!
Could you read some of my work?
I laughed, I cried.
But really, this is amazing! Awesome job, NEVER stop writing,(:
I really don't think the author is attempting to sound "overly smart". I think that he has a genuinely developed vocabulary and is using it without even putting thought into it. Poems like this are especial gems because they offer proper usage of the words at hand and also let people learn.
"Getting the point across" is often not even the aim of poems such as these, it is weaving a story with brilliant style, which was done here.
To those able to make sense of it, this poem is poignant and lovely, and dictionary.com is always available.
Don't listen to the crazy people who don't get it. I got it and LOVED it, very well writen.
(check out my work please :) )