When you stop breathing
Life does not end, because she
Took my breath away
Life does not end, because she
Took my breath away
This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.
I Told Myself I Wouldn't Say This
ChrisJ
This is really creative, different, and original. I really liked it! Please make sure to read some of my pieces too!
AnneHoffmanTaking one's breath away isn't always about death. Alot of people say it took their breath away when they saw their newborn child (theat doesn't mean they died).
It took my breath away to see that so much emotion can be expressed in just three lines! Please don't stop writing!
beautifulspirit
Wow is right! I was literally silenced by this, it's epic, please don't ever stop writing!
jasont727Wow. Really, just wow. Thank you for such an inspirational and beautiful three lines.
jessiflower said...
Dec. 16, 2010 at 7:21 pm:
Dec. 16, 2010 at 7:21 pm:
Wow! i think its amazing how much feeling and strong emotions you were able to pack into those 3 lines!
SeelixThis wonderful! It captures so much emotion (which is hard in a haiku!). Keep writing!
MelanieLouisei love how much emotion and description you fit into such a small amount of space. great work. keep writing, Mel :) oh and check out some of my work if you get the chance, i would love your opinion (:
Shelly-TThat's a profoundly excellent piece
lyssa28
So, Life doesn't end but she took your breath away?
Did she give it back?
I'm sorry... I don't really understand it...
Fayrouzokay...scientifically...when you stop breathing..you die because you can no longer supply your body with oxygen.
BUTTTTT....
this amazing girl took his breath away....(he's still living)
the amazing girl defies science
Lizz17eans she's so amazing that even though he should've died, he kept living just for her
DiamondsIntheGrassthen why is it "'you' stop breathing"
and not "i"?
Stariquenot bad, im just tired of hearing about love stories.
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