Staring at this picture in front of me,
I wish I could be the same person.
I want to go back in time when
This feeling was just a thought.
This fighting between my heart and my mind
Is ruining.

The look in my eyes
Tells the entire story.
I was happy, and things were going
In the perfect direction.
My smile; my walk;
They tell me that
Everything was perfect
In that moment.

I was acknowledged,
I was wanted,
I was content.

The skies in my mind were clear
And storm free.
Looking into my skies now and
I am forced to run from myself
Before I am struck
–struck by the lightning
That my own confusion created.

I want to return to that place,
The place where I was able to control
How I felt and could control what did
And didn’t affect me.
I’ve lost that control in the recent hours.

I want it back.

I want to clear my mind of the thunder
–the storms.
I want to be the strong, independent teenager that I was in this photo.

Most of all,
I want to let go of this aching desire,
This aching want,
That continues to eat
At my mind.

I want it to go away.