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Anxiety trumps all
Author's note:
this piece is all about a mental illness.
Nobody wants to be diagnosed with a mental illness. Nobody wants to believe that they have a sickness that can´t be cured but only contained by medication. Nobody wants to be stuck with taking medication for the rest of their life. Anxiety is just that; something that can´t just go away or vanish, but only contained.
When I was diagnosed with anxiety I wasn’t sure of what it was or how it was going to affect my everyday life. I´ll admit I was terrified at the thought of having some disease. I never thought there was anything wrong with me. For those who don’t know what anxiety is it includes stress that's out of proportion to the impact of the event, inability to set aside a worry, and restlessness. Well that’s the medical definition anyway, for many people anxiety is different it´s not just one textbook definition. For me anxiety is overthinking about every little thing. From what I said to someone in a conversation days ago to what I want to say but can´t seem to let the words leave my mouth.
I found this on a website titled understanding anxiety; "The term "anxiety disorder" refers to specific psychiatric disorders that involve extreme fear or worry, and includes generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), panic disorder and panic attacks, agoraphobia, social anxiety disorder, selective mutism, separation anxiety, and specific phobias." I don’t find all of this to be completely true. Anxiety is not just panic attacks and specific phobias. In my opinion anxiety is different for everyone; nobody has all the same symptoms of anxiety. For some anxiety is more the just panic; for some anxiety leads to depression. Everyone is different and reacts differently to certain things. Something that might work for one person isn’t said to help every other person with the same issue because everybody is different and has different needs.
Overall, anxiety runs the life of many. It sticks on you like tape and never let’s go. Anxiety is like a permanent scar on your brain. It doesn’t define you, but it can control you. It can control your thoughts and dreams. It can control how you think and how you react to certain things. It can control your appetite and your thirst. It can control you, consume you. In the end all you can do is contain it.
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