It happens to the best of us, freshman year in college. After experiencing a semester of this phenomena, I can tell you firsthand: it is not real. College in no way reflects actual life. When has a businessman, or a teacher ever decided to binge drink on a Tuesday night? Hopefully never. Well in college, we do. Because we can.

In fact, when you’re in college, you can do anything. You can tailgate for a solid six hours, and miss the game completely, and no one will say anything. You can spend ten hours straight in the library. You can order a breakfast burrito at 3 am. When you’re in college, anything is possible.

However, along with these incredible feats, comes unavoidable tragedy. Let me tell you a story about Miles. I knew Miles from high school. He was the perfect boyfriend. Like, in my mind. He was handsome, tall, and now that he was in college, he was in the coolest fraternity on campus. Miles is exhibit A of things that would only happen in your freshmen year in college.

You will think I am lying, but I promise you every word of this actually happened to me.

And I’m not laughing.

Miles was having a party. It was on that fateful night that I received the “you should stop by tonight,” text that sent the high school girl inside me aflutter. Of course I went, because when Miles invites you to his party, you go.

Fun was had, drinks were drunk, and we were both feeling a bit ambitious. That’s when Miles asked me to sleepover. I did. Because when Miles asks you to spend the night, you do.

The night was a blur, but the next morning is all too clear. I wake up around 7, wearing his basketball shorts, and my shirt from the night before inside out. I am disorientated and very hungover, but I know for a fact I am laying in water.

Only it’s not water.

Believe me, I wish I were lying. I woke up, lying in Mile’s urine. My feelings were a mixture of disgust, embarrassment (for him), horror, and nausea. I was completely Unsure of my next move. What would you do if you woke up in the urine of the guy you just had a sleepover with? Well, I did what any other sensible girl would do. I got out of his bed as quietly as possible, dressed, and snuck out of his house without a word. We haven’t spoken since.

Your freshman year is a time for firsts. Your first love, your first heartbreak, your first blackout, and your first real best friends. Well, for me, freshman year was my first time being peed on. And I don’t want to talk about it.