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We Regret to Inform You MAG
The sting of rejection still lingers in the air. It reminds me that I am not good enough, it reminds me that I am not worthy of such an opportunity. To move on from this glorious defeat will take perseverance.
“Where do we go from here?” That is the question. I sit in my bed and ponder my every desire. “Am I worthy?” This is still a question that haunts my existence. I can’t go on, but I will go on. I realize the fault in my argument. I treat this newfound realization like a terminal diagnosis, that I’ll never have the opportunity to parade around the campuses that are mere dreams to high-schoolers. But I accept this possibility with dignity. Does it really matter which university I attend? Surely there are more pressing issues in the world than a young coward’s doubts. My mind wanders into the position I was in only three weeks ago. Through a book, I experienced the life of a dying man and walked in his shoes. In these strides, I came to recognize the insignificance of it all. The GPAs, the SATs and some other three-letter abbreviations that equally share my disdain. In this instant, I came to realize what it felt like to get in the ring and spar with death.
Now that I look back, I know where I go from here. I go forward without a glance elsewhere and focus on the things that truly matter. For today is a gift, and rejection is nothing but the small root that juts from the ground and causes us to stumble. But still, it is a root that anchors our tree and allows us to grow.
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I was rejected to all of the colleges I applied to. In my state of sadness, I wrote this piece and while writing, I reflected on a book that I had recently read called, "When Breath Becomes Air", by Paul Kalanithi. In this book, Paul is writing about his final days on earth. He was diagnosed terminally with lung cancer and this book captures all of his thoughts and fears. As I reflected, I realized that there was no reason for me to be so distraught. There are worse things happening and rejection is just part of life-- it's a learning experience.