I want to pen the next great one liner.

I yearn to be responsible for an elusive grouping of words that fit precisely and impeccably to become that next great well of inspiration. I want my black ink to do more than just lay flat on plain white paper. I want people to see those words and experience that velvety “eureka” moment, similar to the ones I felt watching the “Breakfast Club,” or reading “The Virgin Suicides” or translating “The Aeneid” (yes, that classic Virgilian epic….)

But first, I must attend college. That six letter word that has caused my generation extreme drug-like highs or a tragic case of the runs when receiving their decision letters has become the bearer of enormous weight. But it’s a good weight, believe it or not. Although this sounds like some wannabe profound expression or some cryptic enigma, if you hold stay tune it might hold some credence. Yes, the looming and sometimes ominous thought of college is rather burdensome and excruciatingly stressful at times, but if you do the old switcheroo and put yourself in another’s shoes (very cheesy and overdone, but so incredibly relevant…don’t lose me here,) you’re now in the minority, in a really good way. You are privy to the possibility of attending higher education, something the majority of this world is not. I certainly don’t mean to make you feel exceedingly guilty and or a like a spoiled brat, but education is truly an honor and a gift. I’m sure some of you smarties may be paying for the old college gig with your sizable brain power alone, or you self-sufficient, money savvy kids with your own hard earned cash or well-searched out loans, and you are thinking/ saying “Hey! This is only a gift for me if you think working hard to obtain something for yourself is a gift!” And my response would be as follows, “Yes, indeed…this is still a gift. It’s not a big shiny present that has super gorgeous wrapping and festive ribbon tied in a neat little bow, it’s a work your butt off kind of gift designed for the betterment of not only oneself, but society as a whole…the ultimate gift that keeps on giving (haha).”

I’m honestly not trying to make you feel like a disgusting ingrate, but rather I want you to understand the true value and reward that will come with the long nights of coddling your Common App like a firstborn, or racing to submit your FAFSA, or pounding those SAT study guide books (did they really help? The world may never know…) I know all of you possess the potential to cultivate your talents and create that next great one liner, (no one better beat me to it) or that to write that stellar new book, or to open that successful art gallery, or even to discover the cure for some devastating disease. But first you should go to college.