College Essay Question: Some students have a background, identity, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

Inspired by Sherman Alexie, ‘Superman and Me’

Kindergarten through 8th grade, a light skinned black girl whose hair was tightly braided into a different style every week, tied off at the ends by different colored barrettes to match her outfits, attempted to camouflage herself. How do you explain the feeling of being “too” black to fit in with the dominant white crowd, but not black enough for the only two other black kids in the entire school? Other students might have thought she was easily agitated. But she was just an oddity trying to fit in. She grows into an outspoken, passionate senior who is sitting in her AP English class, referring to herself in the third person as if it'll somehow relieve the pain and in doing so, reassure her of her growth.

A confident, outspoken black girl is a troublemaker, widely feared, and ridiculed by black and non-black kids alike. I fought with my desire to be comfortable in my own skin on a daily basis. There were the white kids who were expected to be smarter than me. They wanted me to fall behind and make a mockery of myself. There were us black students who were expected to be below average. Those who lived up to those expectations sat at a small table in the back of the lunch room trying to put all of the pieces of the puzzle together as they fell further and further behind while their white counterparts enjoyed a stress-free lunch. They struggled with the basic arithmetic problems in class but could remember all of the dance moves to “Crank Dat Soulja Boy”. When all heads turned in their direction for them to share their answers, their shoulders hunched to dismiss the question. They were mute in front of all of their white teachers and peers, but their problems and concerns became amplified the moment the black aide stepped into the room, finally seeing someone that could help them beyond the arithmetic problems. As black students, we were expected to be unsuccessful oddities in the predominantly white school.

I refused to fall behind. I was smart. I was persistent. I was tenacious. I learned how to code switch in times of need. I learned how to use my experiences to better connect and understand other people. I learned how to hold my own hand. I learned that I should always be mindful. I learned intelligence has no color. I learned the importance of being self aware. I learned that I owe it to myself to become everything I've ever dreamt of. I learned the scariest, most uncomfortable situations lead to the best memories. I learned to always stay fixed on the end result, the thing I want most. I learned that no matter how dark it gets at night, the sun always rises in the morning. I learned that not everyone has the same heart as me. Most importantly, I learned that I need to be who I needed when I was younger.

Growing up I needed a teacher who looked like me, one that had similar experiences as me and understood the importance of a diverse learning environment on a personal level similar to mine. Affirming my cultural identity and reclaiming my buried voice has played a huge deciding factor in my decision to pursue the teacher career path. My goal is to further my education so I can receive a deeper understanding of the necessary values and morals it takes to become a special education teacher. Achieving my goal will not only allow me to shape the lives of my future students to the best of my abilities, but most importantly, it'll grant me the opportunity to be who I needed when I was younger.