New babies coming into the family are always considered a blessing. A little bundle of joy that you can’t help but love unconditionally. But when it comes down to learning lessons from babies, it’s normally just how to change a diaper or survive months without sleep. You usually wouldn’t expect to learn traumatic life lessons from an infant. They can’t even talk, how are they supposed to teach you? But that was not the case with my baby brother.

I have a relatively large family, and by large I mean there are six of us kids. I am of course, the baby. There’s normally two opinions towards being the baby of the family:  you either love it because you get the most attention, or you hate it because you’re the one that gets picked on the most. Personally, I despised being the youngest and being picked on, and wanted nothing more than a little brother or sister. So when the news of a new baby brother on the way came up, words could not explain my excitement. I wouldn’t be the baby anymore!

My favorite older brother and I waited anxiously those nine months for our baby brother’s arrival. We were both the youngest and thrived on the idea of finally having another baby around. After a not-so-patient wait, it was happening! I was about to be a big sister and that feeling was almost overwhelming! When I finally got to hold my baby brother, Devin, I was consumed with love for this small life. This kid was a blessing, and I could not wait to watch him grow and learn. In just a few moments of life, Devin had touched not just my life, but my families in such a tremendous way.

I was seven when Devin was born. Every day I watched him bring my family closer and closer together. He was such a happy baby and it was incredible to see, I was honored to be his big sister. But as much as I hate to say it, some things are too good to be true. At two months, we lost Devin to SIDS. I was too young at the time to understand Sudden Infant Death and how it worked and personally, I was sad and confused. My family almost instantly fell apart. I had never seen so much hurt in one home. It was like a tornado came in destroyed every ounce of our life and the happiness it contained. My brother, who was ten at the time, tried to explain it to me. I still didn’t understand how a perfectly healthy baby could just be taken like that, but I was beyond hurt. It just wasn’t fair. Why him and why us?

After eleven years, the loss of Devin is still an incredibly touchy subject for my family. We don’t speak of him and his impact on our lives was almost completely shut out because of something we had no control over. But you must look for the positive rather than let the negative drag you down. Devin may not have been around for long, and the memory of him is dim, but despite that he taught me a very powerful lesson. My baby brother Devin, at only two months old, taught me the importance of life. We have no control over life, but we do have control over how we live it. I’ve learned that life is precious and should never be taken for granted and neither should the people around you. Live every day like it could possibly be your last, for today is a gift and tomorrow is not promised. Because of Devin, I will forever keep this lesson, and him, close to my heart.