I once wrote an essay about not knowing what to write about, if that makes sense. I sat in front my computer screen for hours, completely clueless as to what I was going to write the essay about. I can remember writing my hook at least ten times just to get it right. Finally I had the words in line just how I wanted them, having them sound just the way I liked. From there my mind raced, faster than my fingers could type, evolving into an A+ paper on not knowing what to write about.

Even the easiest things can become hard. Essays, personal narratives, creative writing, and editing comes second nature to me (most of the time). I have countless amounts of short stories on my computer, all of which took no time at all to write. Being able to imagine my own world, and characters is amazing; I love it.

Though this essay had me stumped, just like the one back in the 10th grade. Stripped of all my words, I’ve been left yet again, with a blank page and only a blinking cursor. However, this time, I know exactly why the words won’t come out.

The reason is that I could fail this essay, it could very well make or break my future. I’ve never been afraid to fail before until now. Just as Edwin Land said,“The essential part of creativity is not being afraid to fail,” hence the reason stories pour out of my mind. Knowing there is no right or wrong answer to my imagination is a comfort.

On the other hand, some things have definite solutions and answers. I’ve never been the best at converting grams to moles, or solving polynomials and quadratics, but that’s okay. After practice and seeking out the help I needed, I managed to feel confident during finals week.

Behind every failure and wrongdoing is a lesson to be learned. Whether it’s a failure that I express upon myself for not overcoming an issue, to experiencing something on my own rather than taking somebody else’s word. Thomas Edison had it right when he said, “I have not failed, I have just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” In the short time I’ve been alive, I’ve had the honor to meet people with stories of both hardship, and prosperity, and it always comes down to the choices we make in life.

I can’t change my failures, just like I can’t change my past. Why dwell on something that is unchangeable, something that will only make me miserable? I’ve had my fair share of failures overtime, but it’s hard to recall even big ones. Yes, I get down on myself for a day or two and rack my mind about how I could’ve handled a situation differently, or how I should’ve stuck with my gut and circled A instead of C, but I don’t remind myself of it everyday. Instead, I try to look at the positives in life.

I won’t let my failures define me, they aren’t who I am today. They may have been who I was in the past, but the past is gone. I can only learn and grow from what has been before, and turn myself into a better person everyday forward.