“What’s this sticky red juice on the walls?” my mother asked me this, confused, as she suspiciously examined our home. My mom and her fiance, Chris, had just returned from a heartbreaking trip to Florida where they said their final goodbyes to his mother who was dying of lung cancer. My mom joined Chris’s family and tried to empathize with the devastating emotions his entire family was experiencing. She strived to attend to anything these people needed, comfort, friendship, a shoulder to cry on, anything. If there is anything my mother does well it is catering to others. Although my family was dealing with this tragedy I was some twelve hundred miles away unaware of the shame, guilt, and sadness I would soon be faced with.  

The story begins on a Friday night at Salem State University. My two best friends and I putting on makeup, doing our hair, and trying on clothes to prepare for the night ahead. Our friend Sean’s birthday was that week and he had “never had a birthday party” so of course we were going to throw him one! Right? Once we were done getting ready, we gathered our things for the weekend and headed to my house in Westford, Massachusetts.

Once we arrived, I texted my mom telling her that Jessie, Alysha and I had all arrived safely. Of course my parents were concerned letting me stay at the house while they were not home, but we simply told them Jessie and her boyfriend had broken up and we wanted to have a “girls night” to comfort her. Chris was especially suspicious of this, but he decided that I was mature enough to handle being in the house without parents for one night. Within the hour we had a giant punch bowl filled with alcohol and hawaiian punch. Groups of people were rushing through the door, the music was loud, ping-pong balls were landing in red solo cups, and the sheets were hung over the windows. The night was about to unfold into one of the dumbest mistakes of my life.

As the night continued, my house was soon to be the complete opposite of the quaint, homely, and family-oriented household my mother had strived so hard to fashion. All in all the guests puked or spilled red Hawaiian Punch mixed drinks all over my parents' walls, carpets, and home. This night was a series of careless decisions that drove my mom into a state of devastation that would end up crushing my heart with guilt. When my parents returned from their trip a number of warning signs made them suspect I had thrown a party. I had no idea how much the devastation, disgrace, and disrespect my parents would feel do to my actions would affect me as a person. Watching my parents absorb the fact that I had disrespected them so much was shocking and led them to the belief that I was mentally unstable. They had no idea how to deal with the decisions I had made, none of us did.

Over the course of the following months I did not live in my home. I was welcomed as a guest when both my parents were home for the next eight weeks. I lived with my friends parents, worked thirty plus hours a week, and attended family and individual counseling sessions several times a week. The decision’s I made not only affected me but also the lives of my immediate family, extended family, and other friends and loved ones.

Overcoming the feelings we were faced with was difficult for everyone involved. My parents were devastated and my extended family was concerned for my mental health as well. Everyone was faced with confusion and unsolved questions.  “How could she do this to the people she loves and the people that have helped her through so much hardship?” was a question my loved ones asked themselves. Throughout my high school career my Mom had the patience to drop everything in order to help me through multiple suspensions from school and pending court cases. The party ultimately led my mom to believe I had no control over my actions and no respect for the love she had for me. Even though the actions I had displayed to my mom revealed disrespect, dishonesty and disgrace, she still yet again put her mental health and job on the line to make sure I would receive the help I needed to understand the shame I had forced upon my family and myself. Throughout a stressful period of mixed emotions, my family was able to overcome a difficult time that would ultimately strengthen our bond.

Although these choices were no one else’s but my own. By then end of the eight weeks I had accomplished so many things and learned many lessons. First I learned that I am responsible for my own actions and there are consequences to all actions for better or worse. I learned this by empathizing with the feelings that the people I cared about were experiencing do to my actions. Another lesson I learned is that family, friends, and loved ones deserve respect and the best aspects of myself that I can offer. My family has always had my back through thick and thin and they deserve the utmost respect I can offer them. Living out of my home and working full time taught me that the success we achieve in life is through hard work and dedication. In order to mend bonds with my family I had to be dedicated to work, family, and counseling. Although in the beginning I did not see counseling going anywhere, I learned that dedication to anything creates success. The saying, “Practice makes perfect” can not only apply to sports but in all area’s in life. If you practice a sport you will become better. This applied to me because I dedicated time to things that were important to me and achieved great success. All in all this experience taught me lessons that ultimately made me a more honorable, selfless, and respectful individual. The best part of this tragedy is that my family is now stronger than ever and I have finally realized the respect they deserve. I am now able to show my family the love and appreciation I feel so deeply for them.

After reflecting upon my experience, I explored the internet to find studies relating to irresponsible drinking and partying. The article, The Student Perspective On College Drinking, by Peggy Eastman studies a “ discussion group of 11 students, three from high schools and the rest from colleges and universities. The students represent both genders and a wide diversity of institutions in terms of type and size. The purpose of the discussion group was to learn more about alcohol use and abuse from the student perspective, and to hear how students themselves would propose to solve some of the alcohol-related problems that plague many college campuses.” The article helps to reveal the dangers of underage drinking while showing why so many high school and college age students are drawn to drinking and partying. The article revealed to me the perception of alcohol and partying among underage drinkers. The article acknowledged that high school and college students are peer pressured to drink do to the social institutions they are placed in. An anonymous student from the panel explained how his peers are “either studying or drinking” and then went on to state, “It’s a very academic environment where it’s very competitive, very cut-throat competition, but students will study like four to six nights a week and then go out that one night, but they’ll make that one night count,” This reveals the peer pressure students feel by being surrounded by others who praise underage drinking. Another student from the panel said, “ Basically, it’s free alcohol once you get in. There’s no charge to get in.” I related to this quote because as a female I don’t find myself spending any money on alcohol. Lots of the time in party atmospheres people will give out alcohol to females. This can cause disasters such as date rape or alcohol poisoning. “ Some students also described the practice of “pre-partying” or “pre-gaming”—drinking before going out.” This is a huge aspect of college and high school parties. “Pre-partying is where you drink before you go out, so that I guess you’re all ready to go.” This quote reveals the disturbing mentality among high school and college students. Most of these students do feel obligated to “pre-game” before parties. This mentality leads to these underage drinkers being intoxicated before they even arrive at their destination. This can be dangerous because these students are now at a higher risk for physical harm. Over all this article shows how many of the underage students feel out of place if they don’t participate in drinking or partying and focuses on finding an approach to fix this problem.

My personal narrative and Peggy Eastman’s article ultimately show the dangers and consequences of underage drinking. The Student Perspective On College Drinking reveals, “What we need to focus on is decision-making skills and maturity and responsibility in behavior when dealing with alcohol.” Please make responsible choices.

Citation
Eastman, Peggy. "The Student Perspective On College Drinking." The Student Perspective On College Drinking. College Drinking Changing the Culture, Apr. 2002. Web. 08 Mar. 2016. .