I stood as a still as a statue as I watched all of my coworkers rush to the scene of the accident. From the window, I had seen it all happen. Her car had pulled out of the parking lot and his car rammed into the back of her’s at speeds well above the limit. The noise had been excruciating and left a ringing in my ears. So why was I the only one not reacting? It should have been me that immediately ran out there, but it wasn’t. My feet were stuck to the floor like glue as I watched everything unfold before me. I was screaming at my body to move and go help the two drivers, to try and alleviate some of their pain. Tears of frustration were streaming out of my eyes, I didn’t know why I couldn’t go help. All I wanted to do in that moment was run over and offer some kind of comfort. However, I stayed motionless and just stared as my friends pulled her body out of the car and tried to clear his airways.

Thinking back on that night, where a girl my age died, I know why I didn’t jump into action. I was paralyzed by the fact that I didn’t know what to do. Sure, I had been briefly trained in health class on CPR and I know from television shows to clear airways. However, in the moment, this elementary knowledge proved unhelpful. There was so much insecurity and fear buried in me that denied me the ability to function let alone help. Deep down, I was terrified that my actions would be more harmful than beneficial, and I didn’t want to be the cause of anyone’s detriment.

In hindsight, I know that if I had been given the proper knowledge and training I would have stepped into the situation and helped. If I had been better prepared, I could have had the chance to save a person’s life. As for my future, the only thing I truly want to do is learn how to help people when they are in need. While it seems cliche, I never want to stand idle in a crisis again. The only way to fulfill this want is to major in medicine, specifically nursing. This would put me on the frontline of medical wars, therefore allowing me to aid the ill and injured. I want to love my career and love what I do, and the only way to succeed in doing that is to help people through a medical profession.