The ground around me trembles as I jump away from enemy fire. Boom! An explosion erupts, ringing in my ears along with the people’s screams and cries that echo the alleys from which I came. Gunshots ring out on all sides of my being. Jamie, my friend of five years is to my right, firing his rifle at the opposing side. Taking a deep breath, I get onto my knees and aim my gun at the already bloodied soldier. Once I’m sure that I will hit him, I squeeze my finger around the trigger and see him cry out and fall onto his stomach.  Jamie and I move up, taking cover behind the crumbling brick wall where I shot the soldier and I check him for a pulse. Placing two of my ice cold fingers on the male’s wrist, I shake my head. Dead. Number 356. I reach into his pocket and find a picture of what seems to be his wife and his son. I gesture for Jamie to go ahead and he nods, racing across the alley to a doorway where he squats. Looking down at the man, I notice his deep brown eyes staring up at me. “I’m so sorry,” I whisper and close his eyes, “rest in peace.”

I sigh, giving the man one last look and run up to Jamie as he gives me a pained expression, “You alright, Xavier?”

I give him my best attempt at a smile, “I’m fine. Come on.”

He sighs as I continue on my way. I find my way into a dull brick building and work my way upstairs, my boots crunching on the already broken glass. I hold my gun against my chest as I press myself up against the doorway. Peeking around the edge, I freeze as I see a man on his stomach, aiming his gun from the rooftops edge. I cock my rifle and quickly fire at him as he begins turning around. His eyes, turning from fear to pain in a matter of seconds, search frantically around to where the bullet came from. Once he sees me he loses his balance and falls onto his back with a loud thud that makes me catch my breath. I walk cautiously over to him and kneel down next to him. The man reaches into his vest and I point my gun at him. Kill him. Do it, he’s going to pull out a gun. I ignore my violent thoughts and bring down my gun as I notice a torn letter in his shaking hands, “Please. Bring this to my family,” he points to the address scribbled messily in ink and presses it firmly into my hands before falling limp on the ground.

I close his eyes. “I will, I’ll bring it to them. I promise,” I whisper to him, even though I know he’s too far gone to hear me.

357. Jamie stares at me, curiosity brushed on his face. Truth is, I’m so sick of war. I’ve killed so many men; men that were fighting for their country, the same as I am. They didn’t deserve to die but that’s essentially what we signed up for when enlisting in the army. I’ve killed 357 men and each time, I take something that they were carrying on them, pictures, wallets, keys, their dog tags from around their neck; anything to remember the people I’ve killed. I’m taken away from my thoughts when Jamie pushes me to the ground as a gunshot rings out. I hear Jamie cry out, making my heart beat as fast as that bullet. Pain scrunches his face and I turn in anger, looking for the man who shot my best friend. Scanning the area, I find him crouching in the stairwell we just came from and bring up my gun. Aiming it at him, I pull the trigger and bingo, 358. I rush down to Jamie’s side and sigh of relief as I notice he was shot in the leg. “You’re alright. You’re going to be okay,” I whisper to him while taking the camouflaged bandana from my gun and tying it around his leg to slow some of the bleeding. The sour smell of blood so close to me makes me gag.

His teeth grind together as he holds his gun, knuckles white. I put my hand over his, “Give me your hands. You need to hold pressure on the wound.”

Jamie nods, releasing his grip from the gun and I move his calloused hands to his wound and push down. He cries out in agony. “I know. I know... this hurts, you just have to wait a little longer for the truck to come around.”

I keep my hands over his, trying my best to calm him down. He grabs my wrist with his bloodied hand, “X-Xavier?”

I glance down at him, feeling a wetness run down my face that I didn’t notice was there, “What is it, Jamie?”

“I, I lo-” he stutters, body shaking, “thank you.”

I smile slightly, trying to mask my anxiety, “You’re going to be okay.”

He nods faintly and puts pressure back on his wound, wincing whilst doing so. While we wait, the gunshots diminish and someone trudges up the stairs. Jamie looks up at me, eyes wide as I put my finger up to my chapped lips. I take my gun in my hands and quietly jog to the wall next to the doorway. I can hear the man heavily breathing. Knowing that it could be one of our men, I decide not to shoot first. “Xav? Jamie? You there?” the man whispers.

I frown and turn around the corner, “Aaron? What the heck man?! You scared us. How did you know we were up here?”

He smiles at me, “That guy up here was firing at me and I saw you guys take him down. Nice job by the w-” his eyes widen as he sees Jamie on the ground, “What the hell happened up here?”

He walks over and crouches next to him. I smile slightly at Jamie, “He.. he took a bullet for me.”

I see Jamie's lips curve upward for a slight second before being erased by the pain coursing through his body. I focus on Aaron, “Do you know when the next truck is going to come around?”

He looks up at me and nods slowly, “It should be here soon,” his gaze drifts back down to Jamie, “Just hold on.”

I kneel down, placing a hand on Aaron’s shoulder, “Could you keep watch for the truck and any intruders that may come up? I’m going to stay next to Jamie.”

Aaron places his own hand on Jamie’s shoulder and squeezes it slightly before standing up and plodding over to the doorway. He nods at me and I sit down next to Jamie. I put my arm around him, trying to calm his shaking body. “You’re okay.”

“It hurts,” he says through grinding teeth.

I shuffle my body closer to his, thoughts racing, “I know.”

His body continues to shake while we wait for any word from Aaron. What seems like hours pass and I look over at Jamie who blinks tiredly. The truck has to come soon or else I’m not sure if he’ll make it. He’s lost a lot of blood and the risk of infection is high with all the debris flying around. I sigh and feel his body relax a little bit. “Jamie?”

I lean forward and frown when I see him sleeping, “Jamie, you need to stay awake,” I try shaking him but he doesn’t wake up.

My eyes go wide and I check for a pulse. It takes me a moment to find it but it’s there, faintly; it’s there. A wave of relief rushes over me before I realize he’s still unconscious. “Jamie!” I yell as quietly as possible in case of any more possible threats.

I keep my eyes on him, terrified of losing my best friend. Unaware of how long I’m watching him, I get a tingling in my hands, it’s too quiet. “Aaron? What’s the status on-” I stop mid sentence as I see a dark toned man holding a knife to Aaron.

“You just won’t stop, will you?” he asks, a grumble in his voice, “When will you ever learn? War makes you lose everything.”

In one swift movement, the knife slices over Aaron, whose wide eyes, pleading, turn cold. Tears form in my eyes as I let out a cry. His body hits the pavement of the roof with a thud and I jump to my feet quickly, standing in between Jamie and the dusky man. He laughs mockingly as he pulls his gun out, placing it forcefully on my forehead. “Sir, please, you don’t need to do this,” I plead, raising my hands.

The man just stares at me, eyes narrow and distant. A cocking of a gun makes my heart skip a beat, my eyes close, gripping onto the darkness. I await for my ending as the gun fires a deafening shot. A horrified shriek leaves my mouth as my body tsend electrifying currents through my head to my toes. I don’t feel any pain though. As the ringing in my ears subsides, I open my eyes slightly. The man is staring at me, eyes wide, heavily breathing. I don’t understand. Wait, he’s not staring at me, he’s staring past me. Craning my neck, I turn and glance at Jamie. Almost instantly, I feel like I was shot. My knees buckle under my weight, bringing me to the ground. “J-Jamie?” I barely manage to get out, “Jamie?”

I pull him on top of my lap, “Jamie!”

Hot tears roll down his flushed cheeks, his eyes ablaze of pain, burning. I hear the clank of his gun hit the floor besides him. “I’m sorry, Xav,” he whispers.

I shake my head, “No, no, no, no! No!” I shout, not caring if someone hears my cries.

He gulps, his body trembling, “Hey,” he tries to smile, “it’s okay. It’ll be okay.”

I’m not sure what to do. I don’t know what to do. His body is quitting on him, so much blood pumping out of his chest and I can’t move. I can’t process anything. All I can think to say is: “I love you. I’ve always loved you, Jamie,” my voice sounds tattered, torn like my heart.

His breathing turns into quick grasps for air but he’s still smiling, “I- I love,” tears stream down his face, “I love y-you too,” his body slowly grows limp, his breathing fades.

Burning. My body is burning. He’s all I ever had. I loved him. I love him. More than anything. With the last of my energy, I snatch his gun and fire at the man who stood there silently watching us. Two gunshots are made, quick, one after the other. A fire in my chest engulfs my whole body in the flames of war. All I taste is a cold metallic liquid in my mouth. All I feel is pain. Pain that my best friends are dead. Pain that I’m not going to deliver that letter. Pain that I am not going to make it. I collapse on the ground, next to Jamie and take his warm hand in mine. The man falls in a heap across from me and I turn my thumping head towards him. Number 359. This time, I took everything from him. Just like war took everything from us.