Songs sung by angels repeated in the silence of my mind as death was taking its toll on me. Water was flowing , I could barely hear the stream from where I lay on the flower bed. The warm blood streaming down from my forehead was the most comforting thing I had felt in a while. “I want to die”. I contradicted. The pain I could no longer take it, I was suffocating in my own mind. The pain of regret, was taking over me , convincing me to just end my life myself.
Soon day turned to night and still I lay there thinking of my past faults. “if only I could have been there for him” I thought to myself. “I could have reduced his suffering. It is all my fault that those things happened”.
denying the fact that I was cold and weak and not acknowledging the fact that I was dying, I brought together all my force and focused on raising my stiff body off the ground. I slowly, giddily rose my feet, holding on to a tree , I had been able to balance and I fully stood up. Blinded by the fog that was surrounding me, I felt enclosed and as if I could barely breath. I adjusted my self on the tree. Doubting that I would endure this pain of life and regret any longer, I sobbed.
Barely able to see as If I were blind, crawling for a patch of grass that wasn't damp, I stumbled on a stream-the one I had been hearing before. Sliding down I cried out a quick yelp. I was smacked by the water as I fell in. while the water dripped down my face, I was able to catch on the a single lonely branch that happened to fall in the stream before I did. It flood gently even though it was alone. Just like me it wasn’t where it should have been. So together me and the branch flood while the wind blew the water and influenced it to start a rampage. The water engulfed me. I was too overwhelmed by how the current changed that I hadn’t noticed the mental and physical pain I had been in. not realizing It I was heading start for a waterfall.
Soon the branch drifted away from my grasp. Not willing to go on ,I bobbed in the water. I was able to notice how the stream widened out and got deeper. Fish swam past me trying to make it home before the storm began. “but where would I go”? I questioned. “ I don’t have any home. I don’t even know where I am”.
ever second the storm drew nearer , the wind became stronger, it grew colder, the water got angrier, my back became heavier, this burden weighed on me more, my death approached, my time decreased.
Never the less at that moment, I still went on . I knew dying like that would not have been boisterous. Trying to swim to the side , I noticed that , that wouldn’t help. I lacked strength and now strength was ., At that moment, what I required.
Looking into the distance , I could picture the edge of the water fall. I began to panic even more when I realized what I would be in for. With all my strength I tried to swim away. One would most likely give up but I was a very motivated girl until what had happened a few years ago. My strength was to weak. What I needed was a miracle . A miracle could only save me now.
Trying so hard and failing only made my time go by quicker. Choking , gasping, panicking, wishing, hoping, screaming, swimming, dying, crying, gulping, and being drawn towards the immeasurably steep waterfall. - to much verbs sorry but there wasn’t one that could describe all of those at once-.
The water slapped my face in every direction. Momentarily I wanted to live again and make it through those ruff times . “Akito must have felt worse”. I thought. Compared to the pain he had went through I was dealing with nothing but still it was unbearable. I could see my death drawing near. I was coming to an end . The air moistened making my tears unnoticeable. I must have been in hell and when a sharp pain struck my heart I confirmed the fact that hell had no basement.
Holding my breathe, I dived under the water. Fish swam past me -bumping into me- trying as hard as I was to get away. But their attempts also failed. We were swimming for our deaths. Maybe at least the fish would survive the water fall but in the condition my body was in , it wasn’t possible for me to survive the fall.
it was no use to deny the fact that I was going to die soon- as so I thought to bad I figured out later that the pain would go on and that I would have to watch my life all over again-. When I had tried to resurface the current pushed me down , still hitting my face. My lungs collapsed , going down the water fall. hopefully soon the pain would be over.
As if I flew, I floated down like a light feather, gently and smoothly hitting the ground with no pain. I only went down half of the water fall before I began to float. “ what kind of unrealistic dream am I in”? I asked. “ you are not in a dream”. I voice had said. “God has given you another chance to change, to make things better and to revive yourself .” still wet , my face was shocked. I couldn’t believe what I had heard. Had I been speaking to an angel of some sort? Was I in hell then as I went down the waterfall I entered heaven, God’s sanctuary. No one knew? I wasn’t able to ask that question before the voice said “go on”. “would I be able to make things better for my brother, Akito. I am not going to waist this chance”. I cried happily.
The air was refreshing. On the ground I could see green grass and daisy flowers. It was not like the fog that had been surrounding the deathly waterfall. It was peaceful. I only had a few seconds before I would go . So I enjoyed the calmness. Birds chirped and flew around. Squirrels ran from tree to tree. Bees pollinated the daisies. Ants came out of the home to see the sun shining. For the first time in a while I was supposed to feel peace but I was to anxious , I was too concentrated on the past. I wanted to -right then- change my life and the life of my late brother. I was motivated to do that.
Suddenly the most abnormal, uncommon, unrealistic thing happened . My body floated slowly off the ground. I wasn’t scared , nor was I sad to be leaving such a place like heaven . I was happy .I knew that It was my time to start anew.
It was my time to bring happiness into the life of my own.
It was time to change what had happened and to influence my fate and Akito’s fate to move towards the light.
“it will be better, I just know it”.-or at least I had hoped it but who knew what lay ahead-.