It was a day as any other during the morning period for geometry, as I walk in, and sit at my desk, awaiting the arrival of the other students. As usual, I am the first to walk in and assume my seat by the middle of the room, as our teacher, Mr. Espina listens to his foreign radio broadcasts. Every time I walk in, and I hear these broadcasts, I begin to think of what he is plotting to return to his motherland - Cuba, which makes me think of his age. I give him the youngest to be - around a thousand years old. I am not even kidding, he probably served against us in ‘Nam, which is probably why we lost so miserably.

“Ugh,” I think to myself as I assume my seat, “only four hours, and thirty minutes to go, assuming the clock won’t fall asleep like the rest of the class; Espina’s voice can knock anyone out, even other math teachers, which is amazing when you really think about it.”

In time, the others arrive, and as usual, Aliag is the first, followed by Enomis, Nosde, and eventually the rest of the class. Nosde sits by me, and immediately unpacks – he is just as excited to start this class as I am, probably less because he has forgotten his homework, yet that is nothing apart from the usual.

Times crawls, and eventually, Espina stands, and begins to give the lesson, “hello class,” he opens as he gives out his Yoda’s father type of look to everyone, “today we go learn about Pyramids. Grab paper and pencil, and do questions on the board.”

We do as told, and I take out my binder packed full of paper, alongside a pencil, eraser, and sharpener. Nosde simply stays on his sketch-book, with his pencil, and opens to a blank page.

“Class is in session, and until the end, your life belongs to me,” whispered Nosde to me, imitating Espina, “I am in command now.”

I chuckle. It is true, this guy is a dictator in his classroom! This probably explains the foreign broadcasts. Espina draws 2 pyramids on the board, and we begin to solve them. As we are finishing up on answering said question, however, he notices someone on his phone.

He very abruptly interrupts, “hey! What I say about cell phone in class?! No cell phone!!!” he commands, as the student rolls his eyes and leaves the phone on his desk.

“Hmmph!” he says, “you better leave it down, when I was your age, we had no cell phone! We sit, and listen to teacher, and we become so smart! You children use cell phone in class, and then you don’t learn anything!”
He turns back to the board to solve the questions, and I to Nosde.

“Nosde, man, I’m not saying anything, really, but this guy is like a dictator!” I whisper.

“Yeah, probably has something do to with Castro,” he responds, “and he gets his orders directly from him – the broadcasts?”

“Oh yeah! I always knew there was something up with that.”

To avoid being spotted, however, we quickly turn our attention back to the board, and continue jotting notes. It is not too long, however, until there is another interruption. A very, very, VERY faint vibration is heard coming from the desks, yet Espina, being half spider-half bat, picks it up immediately, and turns completely around.

He finds the student responsible, “hey, Julie!” he shouts as the poor student looks up at the spider, “what you doing with cell phone?!?! I tell Cepero over there earlier, not to use cell phone, and here you, using cellphone!!!” he turns around to Cepero, “what’s that? You using iPod too?! I tell you no cellphone, and then you get on iPod?!?! Oh my god!!! That’s it!”

He gets bigger, and approaches the board. He grabs a marker, and writes in big, black, angry letters, “NO USING CELLPHONE,” atop the questions. A great sigh of relief is felt around the class, as we thought the consequences would be much worse. Before heading back to the lesson, however, he looks down at me.

“Eh, Knarf!” he shouts, and points at my desk, “what you doing with calculator? Calculator go help you with nothing! You type in calculator, and you no get correct answer!”

He now points to the poster situated at the left wall of the class, reading, “No calculators can do… Math.”
“Put it away!” he shouts, as I comply, and he returns to the lesson for possibly the 5th time.

“Sheesh,” I think to myself, as I turn to Nosde to see his drawing.

Said drawing is a great, glorious dragon, with his face on it, spike wings, spouting flame with green acid, lion legs, and a hand carrying a sword, with it reading, “Free my People,” at the bottom of the page.
“Damn, Nosde!” I say, as he turns to me, “What is that thing?”

“It is my great, Edson Dragon,” he responds.

“The creativity with the name is amazing, you have passed what I thought were the limits!”

“I know, right?”

“What does it do?”

“Well, since Mr. Espina is one of the most OP things imaginable, judging by his face alone, I created this dragon to counter him. Of course, since Espina is just that OP, it can only last a few seconds in action with him.”

“Damn,” I say, as we both return to the lesson.

Another interruption is heard, followed by another, and another, as Espina continues to go, “No cellphone! No iPod! No talking!”

Eventually, however, one student does not put away her phone, citing Espina is not her dad. He gets angry, and after so many interruptions, with him trying to teach math, he activates his true form. As I thought, Espina was never a human, he was a giant spider in disguise! He not approaches the student, as she trembles.

“Here’s my phone, sir!” she says.

“No,” responds Espina, as he lifts her with his powerful spider hands, “I tell you, you no use cellphone, you no use iPod, you not talking, and I go send you to Mr. Macorhon! Now is too late!”

Not a second passes as he throws the poor student out the window, into the vastness of the sky. We’re in trouble. Other students flee in panic, as they feebly try to escape their dreadful teacher, yet are cut off when he blocks the door.

“Where you going?” he asks rhetorically,” we need better discipline! Who go first?!”

“Nosde!” I shout, “this is what your great dragon was made for. This is the moment he has been waiting for his whole life, unleash the beast!”

“Yes!” he responds as he waves his book to the sky with his Edson Dragon showing in the paper, “oh great beast, great Edson Dragon, your time of coming must be now! Someone dares to challenge your great power, oh mighty one!” yet nothing happens, until he says three key words, “free your people!”

Immediately, lighting tears a hole through the roof of the room, as the mighty Edson Dragon appears to challenge the spider.

“What is this? You bring me this? Very well, dragon, you go die now!” shouts the spider as he creates a geometric sword just my thinking it, “now take this!”

Espina flings his sword at the Dragon, yet it is unsuccessful, for said dragon flies into the sky, to spew flames on his back. The spider turns, and shoots poison which damages the Edson Dragon’s wings. He screams in pain, yet continues to fight, and makes several fruitless swoops to strike at the spider. The fight rages on for a few minutes as the class now lies devoid of any students, except a few, including myself, and Nosde as he watches in fear, as his dragon combats the beast. Then, the dragon bites one of the spider’s legs as he makes a swoop. Espina is now pinned, as the dragon lands behind him, and approaches slowly, and triumphantly, with Nosde, shouting how proud his creation has made him. This would not be a victory, however, for after the dragon got too close, the arthropod turned, and skewered our hero’s frontal body with one of his left legs, and tossed him out the window. The almighty Edson dragon has been defeated, and Espina turned to us.

“Now you go pay for cellphone, and iPod,” he says, as he lifts his legs as if to throw us.

Then, at this climax, however, an even more powerful being emerged from behind to challenge Espina. Created from the fires of a dying star, endowed with the blood of the gods, and with ultimate power bestowed upon himself, this new challenger approaches – this new, Mr. Terrefarma.

“Hey you,” he forcefully says, “you get off my guys, or I’ll give it to you, and it won’t be pretty.”

“No,” responds the spider, “the use cellphone too much in class, they pay now, and you too.”

At that moment, Espina rushed towards Terraferma, yet was stopped by the tips of his fingers as he grabs him.

Terraferma lifts him in the air, and asks only one question, “Hey, want to know what my power is?”
“No, no – NO!” shouts the spider as he tries to block his ears.

“History,” says our great hero, as he opens his mouth to finish off the spider with one last question, “want to know who split the Roman Empire in two?”

The spider is now shaking and trembling, as the final blow is dealt.

“Diocletian…”

“NOOOO!!!!!” shout the spider as he pops, and goo is spattered across the room.

We are victorious, and are cheering Terraferma, yet that is the point in which I feel something – touching me. I feel more aware, and energetic, and…

“Frank!” says Espina as he tells me to get up, “no sleeping in class!”

“Well,” I think to myself as I get up, “one hell of a morning!”