Struggling | Teen Ink

Struggling

February 22, 2019
By LadyZuzu923 BRONZE, Kamloops, Columbia
LadyZuzu923 BRONZE, Kamloops, Columbia
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

The human mind is truly the scariest thing of all.

I don't know when I woke up here. It seems as if I just regained consciousness, and at the same time, it feels I've been living in this void forever. I can't even tell what I'm standing on – is it air? Ground? Water? It looks the same as the sky, and I can't tell where one ends and the other begins. 

I hear a sound behind me. I whirl around, and what I see fills me with a feeling of dread. There's a small, blobish thing, darker than the deepest black in the universe. I take a few steps away from it, but it... crawls? How would you describe that movement? It slides towards me. I turn and begin to run, but the creature is faster than me, and it glides up my back. It settles on top of my head. I shudder as it stretches down, and wraps around my chest. 

The monstrosity begins to undulate, causing a tickling feeling on my head. The world spins with nausea, and I try to push the blob off me. It barely moves, and in response, it shifts and
spread. Soon it covers half my back, and begins to squeeze me. I struggle to get breaths in – am I hyperventilating, or is the creature preventing me from taking in another breath? Or maybe both? I shove the blob, trying everything I can to get it off get it off get it off.

That's when I see the tentacles. Eight or nine long, black protrusions wave around, and I can feel the slimy progression of them growing down my arms and legs. My struggle ceases. Not out of choice - I can't move my arms and legs anymore. I collapse to the ground as the creature squeezes yet harder, wresting any control I had on my body away from me. 

Footsteps. They're unmistakable and I immediately start searching for the source. There! A figure, still too far away to make out any features, but there nonetheless. 

"Help! Help me, please!" I shout, hoping beyond all hope that they're here to help. 

I was wrong.

As the figure gets closer, I can see who they are.

"Recognize me?" And I do. They're me. Every curve, every hair, every movement is mine. And they're smiling, as though they are watching their deepest wish come true. 

They kneel down, and watch the black thing spread, covering every inch of untouched skin. 

I shriek. 

And they whisper. No one likes you. You're a failure. You'll never make it out there in the world.

I try screaming louder, but nothing covers the sound of their words. I only stop when the being covers my mouth, and I can't anymore. It's still squeezing. Soon, my eyes are the only things left uncovered, but even with my ears wrapped in goo I can still here those awful words. 

The monster covers my eyes, and everything goes black. 

I'm sitting in my bedroom, staring at my hands. They're shaking, and I'm crying so hard I can barely breathe.


The author's comments:

This piece was inspired by my experiences with anxiety, both personally and second-hand. Often when I'm in the middle of an anxiety attack, my mind feels as though it's in an alternate reality to the one I exist in, and it's trapped by something telling it every one of my worst fears. My goal in writing this was to spread awareness of how anxiety is really like, as well as to reach out to those who feel alone in their own struggles


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