A man sits alone in a cave. Though to him, he isn’t alone, for he often hears voices. He gave them names, Victoria Greenveld and Todd. He can only occasionally remember why he gave them those names. But, nonetheless, they act like his beacon of hope.

He talks to them a lot, but they never respond. Victoria just talks to Todd. Todd has never talked, but he barks, which is the only time when the man laughs. But the man doesn’t mind their lack of inclusion. Just hearing them talk lets him know that he’s not going insane.

3 years prior

August 2, 2008

Tomorrow is my first day of my new job. God, I hope I will be able to see Vic tomorrow. I mean, she is one of the reasons why I applied. I just hope she will recognize me. Though she will probably avoid the man holding a damp mop and wearing clothes resembling prison attire. Ever since Cass and I split, I haven’t been able to see her. Maybe I can talk to Cass and look into co-parenting. She’ll probably say no, though. Welp, I should put you down now. Don’t want to be late for my first day as a janitor. *cue sarcastic “yay.” *

As Joshua walks into the school, he couldn’t help but feel giddy. He’s missed Vic for the longest time, and this was the closest he would probably ever get to seeing her, so he would use this opportunity to the fullest.

He enters the administration office, and collects his identification. His picture is definitely not the best one he’s ever taken, but it’ll do.

Joshua follows the given directions to the janitor’s closet. When he opens the door, the distinct and pungent smells of bleach, dust, and sick waft around the room, swirling into a scent that can only be described as disgusting. But he’s going to have to get used to this, as he has to walk into this room multiple times a day.

August 3, 2008

My first day is officially over! I didn’t mind the volume of the workload, but there are some things that I don’t really like. So much so that I won’t let it permanently rest on a piece of paper. I didn’t see Vic at all today. What if she changed schools, or moved to another city? I’m probably just looking too deep into this, I mean, she was only out for one day.

For the next week, Joshua continued to look for his daughter, hoping to see at least one of her bright reddish orange pigtails, but to no avail. This was the time when he began to freak out.

Did she actually move schools? I can’t think of anything that could explain why she hasn’t been at school, except… No! Don’t think of that! Anything but that!

And he told himself this over and over again for the next 2 months.

October 9, 2008

Geez, it’s been awhile, journal. There has just been a lot going on in my life. I still haven’t seen Vic at school, and it’s been 2 months! On a positive note, I got a dog as a way to test myself to see if I can actually take care of a living thing. I probably should’ve started with a plant, but I took one look at him at the animal shelter, and I knew I had to get him. I named him Todd. Don’t ask why (I mean you can’t, you’re an inanimate object). He just looked like a Todd.  

The man is still dwelling in the cave he calls home. Only this time, he’s walking around, thinking about his life before he became stranded. Victoria and Todd were quiet today, probably taking a nap, which would explain why he can only remember a few, insignificant memories, except for when Cass told him about the instance that caused his current position in life.

Cass called, which was scary enough.

“I know you don’t want to talk to me, but I feel that you should know what happened to Vic.” She sighed before pausing, Joshua staying silent, not knowing how to respond as well as feeling anxious for the news.

“Vic... She...” Cass sighed again, sounding as if she was about to break down, and took another pause. ”She was diagnosed with stage 3 ovarian cancer about 4 months ago. The doctors tried chemotherapy, but it kept coming back, until eventually…” another teary sigh. ”She’s gone Josh, Vic lost her battle against cancer.”

October 10, 2008

Cass called today. She told me something that has made feel something I’ve not experienced before. I honestly don’t know what to do, besides cry and mourn the loss of my daughter. I’m just pushing everyone away. I haven’t even been home to see Todd. I don’t know how to cope with this, and I don’t want my loved ones to see me in this state. It feels like my heart has been shattered into trillions of tiny pieces that have pierced my consciousness, which is probably why the idea of traveling doesn’t seem that crazy. I think it will help me take my mind off of Vic.

Joshua didn’t go to Vic’s funeral. Instead, he took the soonest flight to anywhere else. He just couldn’t bear see her name on a rock that literally sets her death into stone. Though against his wishes, would often picture her gravestone:

Victoria Greenveld

April 2, 1998-October 9, 2008

Daughter and beacon of hope

The man has lost all hope. He’s been there for far too long of a time, at least that’s what Victoria and Todd are saying.

He never should have taken that flight. He should’ve gone to her funeral. Look where he’s at now. Forgotten, regretful. He’s so lonely he finds comfort in the voices of his dead daughter and a dog that he barely took care of.

Does he seriously think that he was able to look after Vic? He couldn’t even look after himself. It’s almost a good thing he’s away from the rest of the world. It’s not like he was able to achieve anything memorable. He wasn’t going to be remembered; I bet no one even really thought of him while he was a part of civilization, said Victoria to Todd.

Even with all these questions swirling around in his mind, he could only focus on one. Was he remembered by anyone? And to this he answers,”Probably not.”