When you come to a gloomy, colorless neighborhood you’ll find the baby blue aged house she lived in with her father, on the corner of Maple street in Salem Oregon. Phoenix's life had become as normal as anything could get. She attended the local high school as a senior, and she had about a handful of loyal friends to look after her daily. Phoenix loved going to the local coffee shop after school was over. She usually went alone so she could study peacefully while sipping on her vanilla latte. She always had it filled with warm coconut milk and melty whipped cream curled on top with bitsy graham crackers for extra flavor. That was always how her mother took her coffee when she was alive. Phoenix missed her mother often. But she was just a normal girl, she was obedient, kind, caring, and could sense hurt in people that others sometimes can’t recognize. That was her superpower, and somewhat her downfall too. She just cared too much, and a lot of the times, she cared for people she didn’t even know.

When she came home from the coffee shop that day, her dad was still at his job. With not much to do she grabbed the dog leash sitting on the counter. She then took their dog Apollo for a stroll as she usually did most afternoons. The air was cold and crisp against her face, and you could hear each step when her Converse shoes would collide against the tough dirt road, kicking away pebbles and sticks along the way. Her street was utterly scarce of people, and almost all the houses were small, ugly cocoa and forest colors, almost like they were rotted from age and carelessness with mossy green vines weaving in and out of the shattered windows like sick vipers. They always made her shudder. She stepped along the rutted road and all she could hear was the rustling salmon and tangerine leaves of October, the slight drizzles of cold rain droplets, and Apollo’s jingling collar as he trotted alongside his owner merrily. The chilly wind continued to whip, rustling the bushes and trees as Phoenix and Apollo turned a few corners, and trudged a different route than what they usually take. It wasn’t a familiar area to her, but she thought really what’s the worst that could happen?

She stopped abruptly for a minute and stood frozen in the dirt road. Silent. For she had an uneasy feeling rising inside her suddenly. She felt unsafe. It was almost like something really bad was going to happen, or something bad had already taken place, and she could sense its familiarity. The wind puffed once again and it swept her long golden hair up in the air before landing again against her back, her golden waves ending at her hips. Her cerulean eyes scanning the road ahead of her studying the trees caving in around her, then scanning behind her as she spun around rapidly. She continued on the road, walking even quicker this time. Of all the things she knew it was a safe area, almost nothing happened in her neighborhood, but still she questioned her feelings more as she kept walking along the route. When she came to a corner of the road, there was a man standing there. The uneasiness rose inside of her, her breathing picked up rapidly and her heart was banging against her chest, she was anxious and uneasy, but she had in the meantime come to a conclusion that she was somewhat lost, and he was the only human in sight. What are the chances he’d be a serial killer or something, right? She had seen him around the neighborhood multiple times, it was worth a shot. 

“Sorry to bother you,” she said huffing and puffing. “It’s honestly just so eerie out here, especially when you’re alone, you know.” 

The man laughed softly, he had nice snow white teeth to his smile, and it brought some solace to Phoenix. The man was young, maybe just barely twenty eight if she had to take guess. The man paused and took a deep breath before looking at her and saying “I’ll walk you home if you want, you probably shouldn’t be walking alone.” 

Phoenix took a deep breath and said “Oh yes, thank you so much.” The man smiled and laughed again and he and Phoenix started walking side by side, Apollo blissfully trotting along next to them. Phoenix still had a horrible feeling, it was as if she was thinking What’s up with this guy? He’s okay right? Should I not be trusting him? But she tried to push her feelings aside and continued walking and chatting with the man, they rambled on about their favorite foods, favorite movies, favorite music, and they also found that both of them loved to read fiction novels too, Phoenix’s favorite being the Divergent Series by Veronica Roth. 

“What’s your name?” Phoenix suddenly asked the man.

 “Nat,” He replied.

“Oh cool, I’m Phoenix,” She responded. 

“Well that’s quite an interesting name,” Nat responded smiling.

“Oh yeah, my mom picked it for me I think, I guess it’s supposed to mean something important, but I don’t really remember what she said about it.”

 When they got to the house, Nat was just waving Phoenix goodbye when she invited him inside for some coffee. A side of her felt as if he was dangerous, but another part of her was saying that he was completely harmless. She thought He was walking with me for this long and nothing’s happened, I’ve seen him around, if he was going to do something psycho then he would’ve done it by now, I’m fine. She had so many mixed up feelings about him, but she knew it was the kind thing to do, her father would want her to. Both of them stepped up the creaky cherry wooden steps to the front door, as they passed the ruby colored amaryllis flowers next to the porch. Phoenix always kept the flowers happy, the shades always vibrant, and the pedals always entertained with water and sunlight. Once inside, Nat sat down and Phoenix started brewing the coffee for both of them. As Nat sat at the table fidgeting with a silver fork laying next to him, she could hear his slow breaths going in and out slowly. As the coffee drizzled inside the glass pot, Phoenix unhooked Apollo from his leash and sat across from Nat as Apollo shuffled slowly to his cushion and slumped down for a nap. As Phoenix positioned herself across from Nat, the uneasiness boiled inside her once more as she watched him fidget. Something told her that this situation was unnatural and that she should kick him out of the house and bolt the doors as quickly as possible, but she remained still and studied Nat, for she knew that something was off about him. As Phoenix studied, a question arose in her mind, “Do you have any family?” She blurted out. Nat glanced up from his hands and pursed his lips as his forest viridescent eyes darted around the room and as he tugged on his grey sweater collar around his neck, Phoenix noticed a silver ring on his left hand and answered her own question with “Oh you must be married, so who’s your wife?” 

Nat went completely stiff. Silent. And blinked his eyelashes softly as he took a deep breath. He then responded with “We got married when she was twenty three, and I was twenty five... I think. A few years later, she was killed in a car accident along with our one year old daughter.” He then looked down at the table and started wringing his hands. 

“Oh.” Phoenix stammered before saying “Oh, I’m so sorry, I had no idea. Really.” She saw a small smile creep out of him a little bit.

“It’s okay,” He said softly shrugging his shoulders. “Honestly I don’t think about it that much. Coffee’s done.” He said, “I’ll just take whatever creamer you have.”

Phoenix rose to her feet immediately and poured the black liquid into a grey mug, then colored it with her salted caramel creamer. It reminded her of her mother again, but more than anything it reminded her of Nat’s hair. The way it swirled and spiraled around the ceramic edge with so many mixing colors, his hair was mesmerizing. She brought it to him and he sipped on it as he glanced around the room. “I had an older brother too.” He said in between sips, trying to start a conversation. “And he knew by high school that he wanted to be in the army.”

“So, did he? That’s always sounded so cool,” Phoenix asked as she sipped her coffee.

Nat smiled, “Yeah actually, he went through with it.” He paused. “He decided on the Marines though, by the time he was eighteen.”

“Wow, so what’s his name? Does he still do it?” Phoenix asked.

Nat took a deep breath, “His name was Silas. He was two years younger than me. He was killed in action when he was twenty five, while serving in Iraq. Some bomb went off somewhere I guess and he was just dead instantly.” Nat set down his cup and started tracing the handle with his thumb taking multiple deep breaths and looking very uncomfortable. 

“Nat…” Phoenix began. But she kept choking on her words. “I’m… so sorry… I didn’t know.”

“Can you please help me?” Nat said softly. He started to look uneasy just like her.

“Nat, what’s wrong?” Phoenix said, “Just tell me what’s wrong, honestly I’ll help you.”

“I can’t keep doing this anymore.” He whispered. There was a tear that was creeping down his face, and Phoenix could hear his shaky anxiety inducing breaths escaping his cries.

“Nat, please.” Phoenix’s body stiffened and her fists tightened as she clenched her jaw as her uneasiness began to boil to the top once more, she started to become scared, and she didn’t know what to do about him, she kept thinking What am I supposed to do? I want to help him, but how? Nat’s crying got worse, he was sobbing into his hands, and holding his head down, he kept messing up his glossy hair and his green eyes were glassy and irritated red from the tears. His hands were trembling and he kept repeating a soft “please,” over and over again.

Really, the next part came to her almost without a thought at all. But, Phoenix couldn’t stand his heartbreaking sobs, they kept ringing in her ears like the bells, and the bells reminded her of the high pitched sound she hated, how she hated that sound, that ugly sound of a stupid flatline. Phoenix quick on her feet stood up ran over and embraced Nat. The only person she’d ever embraced like this before was her mother. But while she hugged Nat, the thought of her mother did come to mind a lot, the last time she’d ever hugged her mother before she passed away of cancer. Her cold, frail skin of her mother's arms and hands wrapped around her gently in an embrace, the soft pink blanket wrapped around them as they lay in the hospital bed quietly, Phoenix careful to not disturb any wires, cords, or tubes keeping her mother alive, and she remembered the high pitched sound of the flatline. God, it was such a repulsive sound, she hated that stupid sound, and she had hated her mother for leaving her alone. As Phoenix was embracing Nat, she too began to cry with him. The guilt inside of her was unbearable, and as she was embracing Nat, she could feel the uneasiness wash away, it was like she had been carrying cinder blocks on her shoulders her entire life since she was five, and suddenly they had just been lifted and she could breathe again, she could even feel the weight of Nat’s sorrow lift off of him too. Both of them in this moment didn’t say a word, but they felt safer than they’ve ever felt in their entire broken lives, just holding each other for God knows how long, letting their pain go, and letting their misery be washed from their hearts. When they pulled away and looked at eachother, both of them had swollen eyes from the harsh tears they both shed. Words were finally spoken. “I invited you in because something gave me a feeling that I needed to talk to you.” Phoenix said. “I knew something was wrong, but I just didn’t know how bad it was I guess.” 

Nat smiled through his tears,

“I just needed someone. I needed someone to talk to. I hated living with myself. I hated being alone with my own thoughts.” 

“We all have memories.” Phoenix spoke. “We all have grief, depression, our own problems, and sometimes that’s what you don’t realize about a person. You can’t even see how much they’re suffering. But Nat, just remember that you have so many new things to come. Just keep your head up out there, please, I know you’re hurting. I know.”

Nat got up after the hug and went for the door. When he opened it, he stood in the doorway for a second thinking. He looked back at Phoenix for a second and mouthed a thank you. Phoenix saw him close the door behind him and walk down the porch steps slowly and quietly almost like he was Boo Radley. She saw him turn a few corners and watched him step along the road, the eerie dirt road that once made Phoenix uncomfortable, but now gave her solace. Phoenix felt as if she was in shock, she had judged this man from the moment she saw him, but she had ended up saving him. It shook her to her core, how a person could be so different than what you expected. As she watched through the rain droplets falling on the small window on her front door, she quietly whispered to herself, “You’re welcome.”