She steps onto the cold, stone-hard asphault with her friends connected to her hip as she casually strolls toward me.
They continously talk on and on without even seeming to require a breath.
She just nods and smiles genuinely when seemingly necessary, they just never quite meet her luminous hazel eyes.
She glances up, meeting my gaze, and I hate her for it.
I hate the feelings she makes emerge in me.
I hate her almost as much as I hate myself.
I ruined her. I ruined me. I destroyed everything we ever had together.
I also underestimated her. I concluded she'd just compartmentalize like I attempt to do daily. I was right, to an extent. I just missed a part. She compartmentalized me.
I continue to watch her ever so intently, watching her gracefully take a seat against the fence, right in the direct path of the sunshine.
That's when she overcomes everything inside me.
I feel an extroadinary, breath-taking mixture of joy, happiness, excitement, love.
Her honey-colored hair glowing in the undeniable heat of the blinding rays triggors sudden tranquilizing feelings throughout my love-stricken body.
That's when I start contemplating on if I should go over there or not. Just to make her beautiful, captivating eyes meet my sullen, hollow black ones.
While I'm forcefully moving one limb at a time, she finally gives me what I want. What I need. My little fix for the beginning of the day.
She looks over directly at me with her now extremely bright hazel green eyes. In me, is the more acceptable term.
Call it cliche but I swear I could've stood implanted like that forever, right in that spot, getting lost in an overlapping mixture of extravagent emerald green and brilliant light caramel-honey irises.
So I stare. And stare. The more I do, a little voice in my head, almost identical to this beautiful girl's, discreetly tells me to do as I please. Go over there and get what I want.
Yet I keep watching her.
It starts to make me feel like she has an omnipotent hold on me that I won't let her release.
A flick of stress and sadness twists her face for a quick second. Then it's gone. Just like her attention. She turns back around to her friends who are still gabbing.
Their deep blue eyes send internal shards through my yearning and hope.
I glare back at them,but only for a minute.
I too turn around, toward my friends.
I'm following her unbearably difficult example.
After all, ignorance is bliss.