The ride home seemed a ride to eternity. With a lump in my throat, I didn't think I could speak a word. As a matter of fact no one had spoken. Everyone was afraid to break the silence that had fallen upon us.

"I feel so guilty. It was all my fault," I managed to speak, on the verge of tears.

"It was not your fault. It was no one's fault. It just happened."

I could tell Dad had a hard time saying those words, yet I knew he meant them.

I can remember it clearly, as if it was happening at this very moment. I was sitting in the passenger's seat. As we sat at the red light, Mom frantically searched her purse to try to find her credit card which she suddenly realized was on the store counter. I saw the car come racing toward us, but I couldn't find my voice. I just sat there dumbfounded, without warning Mom. And then....

Finally the long procession of cars arrived at our destination. I stepped out into the brisk October day. It was a typical New England autumn day, chilly and windy with cloudy skies. Within the next several minutes everyone gathered around, and the minister began.

"We are here on this beautiful, autumn day..." Beautiful? How could it be beautiful, when the sun isn't even shining? I thought to myself.

"... to remember our beloved friend Ellen Bradford..."

His voice trailed off and I began to think of all the moments we had shared. The places she had taken me on my birthday, the special cookies she had baked me when I was feeling down, her words of comfort when I had been scared, and her acts of love just to show she cared , all these were but memories now. How could anyone take Mom's place? How could life move on?

"...Most of all we must remember her wonderful way of looking toward the best in the worst of situations. And may we begin to apply that in our own lives. We will always remember her. And as she always said, so will I, AAnd the sun will shine.' May she rest in peace and her heart be with us now and forever more, amen!"

I never fully understood that saying until the minister spoke those words at that moment. It was as if I could feel the sun's rays beating down on my back. The sun will shine, and life will move on. n