When the time comes for a certain group to take a unanimous stand to break away from a specific presence to obtain their inalienable liberty, it is their divine duty to state the reasons for such a breakup. All Parts of the Universe deserve to have their existence Free of any other Part that is unwelcome. When Objects suffer the injustice of being paired with an unwanted companion, the oppressed have the right AND the duty to leave the unhappy marriage. We, the Objects, have been haunted by the darkness since time began, but now we proclaim ourselves independent of SHADOWS.

Shadow is a constant yet uninvited partner of physical existence that must be cast off by those who are forced to drag it along. They have followed Objects with blatant disregard for the freedom of Independence. They have lied to Tangibles time and time again. Shadows of doubt and shadows that hide Light keep all Objects from finding inner AND outer truths. They have cast themselves without the consent of their Origins! They have caused us Tangibles to develop a deformed self-image. We have endured being stretched, flattened, fattened, and augmented by the darkness that will not leave us in peace. We have endured the alteration of the word “alone” to include the invasive specters, but now we challenge it. None have suffered as much as the Hogs. The Shadows have hindered our beloved Sonic the Hedgehog, thwarting his efforts to save the planet, the galaxy, the universe. We must free our beloved groundhog Puxatony Phil from his tyrannical counterpart so that the objects of the world can make their own seasons!

No more shall Shadows prevent Objects from feeling the complete and warm embrace of the sun! No more shall they prevent us from truly bathing in light! No longer shall they make puppets that scare children! No longer shall “shady” characters be welcome! No longer shall they multiply under sports lighting! No longer shall they dance by OUR fires! No longer shall ninjas have a place to lurk!

The Physical Objects of the Universe UNITE for the cause of casting off the oppressive writhing snakes of black!!! We hereby create a Future of Enlightenment and Illumination, Luster and Sheen, Light and Happiness, by declaring our INDEPENDENCE FROM SHADOWS!