Hidden Secrets | Teen Ink

Hidden Secrets

February 7, 2013
By Lindsey M SILVER, Covington, Louisiana
Lindsey M SILVER, Covington, Louisiana
5 articles 0 photos 0 comments

It happened again... Not that I didn't expect it. But I was hoping it was would be different this time. Gosh she's so controlling, I hate it! I don't know why she's so strict. I never do anything wrong, mainly because she doesn't give me the chance. There's a huge party tonight and I don't get to go! She says "I don't need it." So unfortunately I just listen to her and lock myself in my room for the rest of the night. I'm a senior in high school and I still haven't been to a party, or a dance, nothing!

You see, the woman that adopted me, I guess you could call her my mom. Well she ruined my life. Sometimes I wish she would've just left me at that stupid orphanage. At least there I could be normal and a little happy. Although, I was happy here until about 8 years ago...

It was Wednesday October 9. I will never forget it. I was awakened by the most awful dream I'd ever had. I was locked in a jail, pressing my face against the cold, metal, bars of the cell. My real mother was on the other side of them, but Martha, my adopted "mom" was holding me back in the cell, refusing to give me the key to get to my real mother. I remember she was wearing this awful green dress that she thinks she looks so good in. She must wear it at least once a week! But then again, she thinks she looks good all the time. Anyway, when I woke up I couldn't seem to go back to sleep, I was too excited knowing that my real mother is out there. I knew I had to find her. Now it might sound silly, but I didn't care. I wanted to get out of here and hopefully join my real family. At the time, I knew nothing about her. All I knew was her name was Stacey Campbell and that she gave me away because she was not well.

I began looking for her, searching the Internet, asking people around town, everything! It was a lot harder than it sounds, trust me. Martha only lets me have 20 minutes on the computer a day and I'm not allowed to do anything after school. So it took me a very long time to find out what I know now. Martha caught me on the computer plenty of times searching for my mother, needless to say she forces me to live in that dark cellar every time, for a week.She looks at it as a punishment, but as long as I don't have to see or talk to her I'm happy. Luckily my little sister Chloe, who just turned eight goes down there and talks to me at night whenever I'm dragged into that dark, lonely basement. She hates it here too.

A few weeks later Martha had her "friend" over. But we all knew Mr. Jason was more than that. Carter and I decided to spy on them from behind the couch while they discussed whatever old people talk about. Their conversation was really boring at first, so I fell asleep. I have no clue how long went by before my sister woke me up. When she did they were talking about "medicines" and "people forgetting" and then the most shocking, most terrifying thing I have ever heard. She said that she was expecting Carter to be gone soon. Apparently her "medicines weren't working." When I looked over at her she had a puzzled look on her face. Although I would too if I was her, because Carter doesn't take any medicine. That night we snuck off to our bedroom, thankfully without being seen. We talked for hours about what Martha could possibly mean by "Carter's medicine", but eventually we both fell asleep. The next morning, after breakfast Martha announced that we were going to have a new baby sister when we got home from school that day. Surprisingly, Carter nor I cared very much. It's not like we would get to play with her. She'd be put in another one of those rooms that we are forbidden to go in.

Honestly I don't even know why she does it. Why she adopts children. She hates them. But I would never dare ask! School is almost as unbearable as home. I have no friends and since I can't do anything on weekends, I have no chance to make them either. Carter was my only friend, but that's all I needed. When we got home from school I completely forgot that we were going to have a baby sister, and I wasn't reminded until about three days later when I heard her crying in the middle of the night. I guess I was so busy making dinner, doing dishes, scrubbing floors and all of that fun stuff that all teenagers are forced to do every night, that I didn't have time to think about anything but what had to be done next. I tried to go in to Chloe's room when she was crying, but Martha beat me to it, and the door was locked. That may seem unusual to you, but that's completely normal for her. She locks the door after she goes in any room. So I just turned around and went back to bed.

The next day after school I couldn't find Carter anywhere! We usually meet next to this fire hydrant that has both of our names carved in it, they'd been there since the second day of school. We wanted something in our lives to be permanent, so we engraved them because no one would ever be able to erase that. I waited for about twenty minutes and she never came. She didn't even call! I stormed home, furious. Ready to yell at her as soon as I walked in the door. But to my amazement she wasn't there either. I didn't want to ask Martha because I didn't want Carter to get in trouble for being late. Not that Martha would care where she was, just that she didn't listen to Martha's orders. That morning was the last time I saw Carter. I wish I could tell you more, but I have no idea what happened to her. It is very ironic though that Martha has never asked or said anything about her. It has been exactly eight years today that she disappeared. I've never bothered asking Martha anything though, because I already know that she has everything to do with the missing of my sister. I will find her. Even if it kills me. Of course I cried every night for weeks, might have even been months. I lost count because I stopped caring about everything. Except for finding Carter of course.

About three years ago I watched the evil "mother" put in the combination on the lock to Chloe's room. When she left later that day I snuck into the room and saw my "new" baby sister for the first time. I looked around the room and then it happened. I found a little orange box, taped shut, full of different types of pills. They are all different colors, but all have something that looks like a brain on them. I don't know what any of them mean and I don't know why she would have them. No one in this house takes pills! Even if we get sick Martha refuses to let us take any medicine for it... Words cannot even describe how lost and confused I felt. It seemed as if the whole world at this point was a mystery to me. I began to feel very hot, I started sweating and then completely blacked out. Next thing I remember is waking up on the floor and beginning to weep.

I cringed at the thought that Martha was truly a monster. I knew that she had to have given Carter one of the blue pills and made her disappear. After all, it's not like she needed her, she had just gotten a new slave... I mean baby the day before Carter disappeared. In that very moment I decided I was going to get to the bottom of this. Sometimes I still wondered about my real mother, but I figured that she probably wasn't thinking about me, so I needed to help Carter. It would've been easy to just slip Martha another blue pill, but I didn't want her to be anywhere near my sister. I began to wonder exactly how many people she had given the pills to. The cold hearted woman could have just slipped it to anyone and wouldn't have even felt bad about it.

I contemplated for weeks but I knew what I had to do. I needed to take the blue pill. So one night after I cooked dinner for the monster, I took it. I closed my eyes tightly and held my breath. To my amazement nothing happened to me, so I took another one the next day, and then the next day, and the next. Nothing happened. A part of me is disappointed that I didn't disappear, any place is better than this place. What was wrong with me? Why didn't I go anywhere? My hamster can disappear, but not me? I felt like I was trapped with no where to go, and worst of all, no hope. I had completely given up. Life went back to being miserable. I wanted to forget about everything and just accept the fact that I was stuck here forever, without my mom, without Carter, without anyone. I had planned on running away, but when I was packing up I heard the doorbell ring. I went downstairs to answer it but there was nothing there, just a letter with my name on it. When I opened it it read:

Candace,



We're okay. Don't worry about us. Just get yourself out of there. Fast.


And that was it. I have never felt so many emotions at once. I was scared, overwhelmed, and confused all at the same time. I just sat there and cried. Remember how I told you earlier that I felt trapped? Well try feeling like that and then getting this letter. Where was I supposed to go? Who wrote this to me? Why is this happening to me? I wanted to leave so bad but I had no where to go. I was seventeen with no job and knew no one, it seemed almost impossible to be able to get out of here. So I didn't. I stayed. Just kept on living, if you want to even call it that. Coming home from school doing the list of chores Martha has for me, and then take care of the baby. Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you. About three months after she adopted Chloe, she suddenly became my responsibility too. Two days later I received another letter that looked exactly like the one I received previously. There was one difference.. This one was in my locker at school.


Candace



You're the only one that can save yourself.



I immediately left school, rushed home and began looking for any clues that could help me get to Carter. I hardly had any time to cry, everything just seemed to lead right back to where I started. I knew Martha had done something with her, and now I knew the letters were from Carter. She dotted her "I" with a heart. She always did that. I stumbled upon another box upstairs in Martha's closet. It was red and written on it was printed
S t a c e y. I ripped it open as fast as I could, when my eyes laid on what was in the box I became livid. It was full of letters with my name on it. My mom knew my name! I sat there and began to cry. Some were tears of joy, others were because now I was more confused than ever. Oddly enough there was no return address on any of them. It was now 3:30 so I knew Martha would be home soon. She usually gets home from work at around 4. I began reading the letters. They were mostly just her asking me about how school was and how life was treating me. But then I came across one that I will never forget.


My dearest daughter,





I'm sure you aren't answering my letters because of how angry you are that I left you. But I just wanted to let you know I had no other choice. I was doing what was best for you, just know we will be reunited one day. I had to go away for a little while but I will be back soon. Martha promised me that she would take care of you, and I'm sure she will do a great job. Get well soon baby. I love you my sweet angel.















Love, Mom

By this point my head was spinning in so many different directions I didn't know what to do. How did she know Martha? And I'm not the one who is sick its her! I heard the door open so I ran down stairs to talk to Martha about hiding my mother from me. When I confronted her she had no real answer. All she said, in a very calm voice was " Go up to you're room and don't come back down until tomorrow morning." I began weeping, but did just as she said. I went up to my room and cried. Why was she hiding this from me? What did she know that I didn't? Surprisingly I heard a knock on my door at around two in the morning. I wasn't sleeping of course, but it startled me. When I opened the door Martha came in, and locked the door, as usual. I'd never seen her like this, she looked nervous, and couldn't keep still. She sat on my bed, which she had never done... Ever. I can't even remember the last time she came in my room. I assumed that she found the box of letter opened in her room, so she knew that I had read them all. It seemed as if it was hard for her to find words to say, which was very rare for her, she always said exactly what was on her mind. I began to feel very nervous. I didn't know what to expect. Finally she let out the words "I'm sorry." I just stared at her blankly, not knowing what to say. She began crying and said " I'm sorry for keeping everything from you Candace, I'm sorry I couldn't tell you about your mother, and I'm sorry for being the way I am." Still no words could come out of my mouth, there was so much going through my head, I didn't even know what I could've said. Then. She hugged me. Yes that's right, hugged. I hugged her back and asked her what she meant.
"Your mother, Stacey, went on a vacation."
"Yes, I know I read that in the letters, but why did she never come back for me?" I said.
"It's not that easy Candace!" Putting her face in her hands she began crying again.
"What do you mean it's not that easy? She's my mother! She loves me! Why wouldn't she come back?" I started crying too.
"25 to life."
"What?" I had no idea what she was talking about.
"Your mother is in jail for the rest of her life, she didn't want you to know, she was trying to protect you. I was supposed to give you the notes when you turned 16, but I couldn't. I knew you weren't happy here, but I knew when you found this out you would be devastated."
I couldn't cry. That was not what I was expecting at all. My mother was in jail for the rest of her life. There will be no happy family. No family vacations. No nothing. Why me? Why is this happening to me?
The next day Martha agreed to take me to the jail where my mother was. I was so nervous. I couldn't control my shaking, I hadn't eaten all day. On the car ride there Martha and I talked about everything and I realized she really wasn't that bad. The reason she didn't want to let me do things outside of school was because she didn't want me to turn out like my mother. She thought it would be best to keep me isolated from everyone else. She explained that my mother killed her husband, which was my father. His name was Adam. She killed him on October 6, 1995. Two days after I was born. He tried to drown me.

My name was called and Martha and I were directed into the visiting room. When I saw her, I froze. She smiled and walked towards me. Her legs shackled together, but her arms out reaching for a hug. She told me that she loved me, but that was it. Not many words came out of her mouth for the rest of the time I was there. Not because she didn't have anything to say, but because I had so much to say! Visiting time was only fifteen minutes so I didn't have much time. I told her I loved her, but how miserable I was with Martha. She then told me that Martha was her best friend. The only person she could trust, they worked together at the bank. The last thing she told me before i had to leave, completely shocked me. Apparently our family was cursed many years back. the curse was that in every generation of the Campbell family, one of us would kill someone else. When time was up, she hugged me and told me to go back to visit soon soon.

On the ride home Martha explained the blue pills. They were a medicine that she snuck in my food every night. It was to make sure that my brain wouldn't be able to remember anything that happened for the first five years of my life. My mom didn't want me to remember her because she didn't want it to be hard on me. She was not convicted of murder until I was four. The second I got home, I went and looked up to see exactly how many people in my family were convicted of murder; so far 16. Oddly enough, they were all women.

To this day, I go see her every Monday, Thursday, and Sunday. I enjoy going to see her, but honestly Martha has become more of a mother to me now that there are no secrets between us. No one else knows that my real mother is a killer. No one ever will. Turns out, Carter ran away with her boyfriend after she heard Mr. Jason and Martha having that conversation; I still don't know what that was about, but I don't really care. I'm done asking questions, I just want to be happy. Carter wanted me to go with her, to get away from Martha. I'm glad I didn't. I still haven't seen her since that day, but I hope to soon. I wonder which one of us will be the next killer.



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