Darkness was already upon me, darkening the sun and starting the horror of night. I felt the chill roll in the air, and as it passed me, it formed hands and touched my face.
I could have shivered, or even had felt frightened by the sudden embrace. But as usual, the fear of darkness was far away now, lost with my other hopes and emotions.
The sky cried when I would not. I could feel it, mimicking me in either humor or disgust, I did not know. But I felt the earth, even in silence, whisper sad songs within my ear.
" To die is to live, to live is to die. You cannot strive for what is already lost, and you cannot lose something that was never there," it said in a chilling tone.
I felt my grip, slowly losing itself, on reality. The hold was weak, however, as I faced the oceans wrath.
Cold air blasted my cheek, water surrounded my feet.
The ocean screamed, " You do not belong in a place where life thrives! Go, or the power of the ocean will swallow your poor, weak soul!"
But when I felt this, I did not fear.
The end of my existence would not bring tears, it would only create room. The ocean felt this, and though it was so strong, it bowed it's waves in pity and pulled back the storm.
The ocean whispered, though powerful as it was," A poor soul I will claim, but I will not claim the soul of a child who has no fate. Go now, child of no fear, and find somewhere you may reside. But only then, will you be mine."
The ocean moved its large waters, its creatures.
I passed a mermaid, though as beautiful as she was, her tail flicked at me and her eyes were hot with rage. I passed the ocean, I passed the forests, but I found nowhere to go. I shined in no place.
Despair became rage and rage became hatred. I shook my fist towards the sky, kicked the earth, and shouted profanities. I dug my nails across the skin of my arms, screaming in ruin.
" Why has God created me when I am nothing?!"
" I am NOTHING!!!!"

The ground was stained with tears for the very first time in my life. It was moist and my palms were covered in mud.
The ground has been beaten out of anger. I suddenly felt awful, but I knew these were useless feelings, just as love was useless.
I felt a spot of heat though, come through my hair and touch my face. I did not open my eyes.
"Miss, are you ok?" A gentle voice whispered.
I covered my ears with my damaged hands and I felt pain in my arms.
"Miss?"
"Go.... please. Your not REAL. Your just a VOICE inside my head telling me I'm not GOOD enough. Your just a VOICE."

"Miss..."

" GO AWAY! Your just a VOICE who wants me GONE," I yelled weakly.

I knew there was no hope. I opened my eyes and dropped my hands. Deep gray eyes stared into mine, and pale lips were an inch from mine.

" I am not just a VOICE. I am HOPE," he said, and I was offered his hand.

I don't know why I took it, but it was warm with love and my unmoving heart suddenly thumped alive and I wrapped my arms around the heat.
I did not find my hope.
HOPE found ME.