Everybody knows that the main argument at the dinner table is about eating your vegetables. ‘‘They are healthy and good for you,’’ your parents will say. Nobody likes veggies, so naturally kids don’t even mention the greens without scrunching up their faces and emitting eew sounds. Parents will tell you that you have no choice but to eat them now, or for breakfast. Little do they know, vegetables have started to take over the globe.


Squash. Who likes squash? Nobody. The plant only survives because of its need to torture and torment children around the world. Squash has no mercy, and its rapidly growing population makes it a pressing threat all over the globe. U.S. officials are deciding whether-or-not to outlaw squash plants and send them to the Middle East. Several anti-terrorist groups are protesting in Washington currently saying that sending squash to the Middle East is not fair to the children and spouses who have abided by the law. President Barack Obama has no comment about this issue.


The problem with squash is that few things can annihilate and kill it. Animals know better than to go near it and insects find no need to abolish squash bugs. Since nobody is eating squash, the vegetables on the plant are germinating. If you see this happening call the FBV,(Federal Bureau of Vegetables) immediately! There was a man in Nevada who did not stop the germination of squash. The plant was 18’ by 23’. He is doing 25 to life.


Squash can no longer be demolished by uprooting the plant. Since is can now regenerate and germinate itself, it has evolved. The FBV has to tear gas it, dunk it in gasoline, burn it, freeze the ashes, burn the ashes, and then dump the remains on Pluto.


‘’We have learned that uprooting the plant causes it to multiply within seconds,’’ said John Henderson, President of the FBV. ‘‘Please don’t try to handle the situation yourself, call the FBV!



As you can see, squash it a very dangerous plant. If you happen to see one, call the FBV immediately! 1800-546-9876