I broke off my flesh and handed it to you to patch your wounds. I slowed down my heart and gave you beats that I could have been using. I tore out my eyes and handed you tears that I needed to be crying. I closed my ears and believed you when you were lying. I held my tongue and listened when you told me what you were feeling. I offered you my back to whip while you were angry. I carried you when I was too weak to walk. I promised you things when I was too tired to talk.

I peeled off my skin and offered you my heat. I froze so you could be warm. I gave you the color that used to be in my cheeks. I gave you sugar that used to lie on my lips. I offered you my lips as an apology. I know it was wrong but I love you and wanted it to be ok. I watched you walk away from me and didn’t chase you. I suffered in silence and gave you your space. I didn’t leave you when you told me that you were done with me. I stayed quietly off to the side until you needed me back.

I opened my chest and handed you my heart. I knew you needed it more than I did. I let you walk away with it and then come back over and over. I would take it back if I could. I offered my hands to you so you had something to cling to when you were falling. I offered you my bed so you could rest when you were tired. I opened my arms so you could find comfort in a place that there was none. I slowly broke myself so you could be whole. I handed you the wheel then I lost control.

I cracked open my skull and accepted your words. I know that you loved me. You told me you loved me and I betrayed you. You knew that I lied when I told you I’d do anything for you. I know that I was selfish and ungrateful toward you. You know that I am sorry and that I wish I could change. You know that I’m trying but some things aren’t easy. I know that you stuck with me while you could. I never told you how much I appreciate it. I know that I don’t deserve you. You know how much I need you.





I shattered my walls and let you inside. I told you the things that I didn’t want to share. I watched you accept them and silently judge me. I watched you hold your tongue and knew that you loved me. I’m trying this time to let you go. I know you deserve better and that I shouldn’t hold you back anymore. I’ve yet to cry for you but I know that I will. Late at night when I want you to hold me. I’ll remember your lips against my neck and your fingers in my hair. I couldn’t forget if I tried.

I cut the strings that connected you to me. I was almost like a puppet master moving you. I hate to admit it though I know that it’s true. I hate myself sometimes for the things that I’ve done. You’ll never see me do it because you’ll try to convince me not to. I was wrong. You were right. I never really wanted to win. I’ll lie down at your feet and beg for forgiveness, but I know that I’ll get it and it’s something that I don’t deserve. I don’t want to listen to you say the words.

I burned all the memories that remind me of you. Yet somehow they rise out of the ashes to replace themselves in my mind. I suppose it’s best not to forget wasted time. I’m wishing you luck because this time it’s final. I was never enough to make you smile. It was always there for a moment but then I would steal it away. It was all my fault at the end of the day. If you think of me think of me fondly. Don’t think of me often in case you miss me. I’m snapping my collar-bone and scraping my soul. I’m trying my best to let you go.