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Emotionally Breaking Apart
Pain. Fear. Love. Revenge. All of those stuff control my life. Don’t you ever apologize for how your eyes stopped shinning. We have to know and accept that our hands are small, so we can’t catch all of the pain we wanna heal. This how we live. We’re like sponges, handle a lot until someone squeezes us and gets rid of all the pain inside us till we’re clean and perf as before. Someone will come one day and hug you tight to get all your broken pieces together again. Isn’t it amazing how just two words “I’m Fine” and a smile can fake it all? Can hide it all?
Here comes a time in life where you don't know what to do. Then you start losing friends. But stay strong and have a good heart. Remember YOU ARENT PERFECT NO ONE IS. There comes a chapter in your life and you just can't figure it out. Then you want to find your sanity. So you do then your friends realize that you might be finding their sanity then they might get mad SO WHAT. They might be jealous or be sad remember you are a warrior inside don't let anyone let you down.
Depression. Cuts and Cuts. Help I did it again. I self harmed…woke up in the morning, wondering why am I still alive. Am I enough? Start thinking about my boyfriend. Do I deserve his love? Do I deserve him? Staring at the bleeding scars…who am I? I’m Fat. I’m not perfect. Learning to hate my guts. Blades and radors around me. Blood dropping. Tears rolling down my cheeks. What’s left of me? It’s the end. Why am I not her? Who’s her? That perfect girl with a fit body, a bright smile, shinning eyes, sweet soul, smooth skin, no scars or burns. Comb my hair, dress up so cool, apply some make up on, paint my nails. Am I pretty now? Faking a smile. Are you fine? Yes, I’m doing great. Tears, I’m breaking apart, someone help. Fake people. A Judgmental world. I’m lost. Where are you God? What if I died tomorrow? Showing him my scars. Baby stop, it’s useless. It’s not useless, this is me. I am nothing.
Caring about how many likes and how many followers. He has ten and she has 1k. Is he better than her? What if she’s the loneliest girl ever, no matter how many followers she has. What if he’s so social and happy although he just has ten followers? Judging each other by hurtful comments.
Boy…remember how you used to love her? And now you’re talking s*** about her. Remember how you faked your love to her and cheated on her just to show off in front of your friends? Oh you’re so cool, you have ten girlfriends. Well done baby, well done. Who’s the next girl? Who’s the next victim? Is she hot? Is she fun? Is she smart? What’s your next idea? Ruining her life? Breaking me apart? Where are my blades? CUT CUT. Nobody cares. Nobody sees.
Dropping 5kgs in a week. I’m not skinny yet. Eating disorder. Anxiety. Underweight. Well done gurl, you did it. You’re thin but still you don’t like yourself. Why? Because you don’t love your soul. And you will never love who you are as long as you hate your heart.
There is a girl who doesn't know how to handle things. She seems so happy, she cuts herself and she doesn't know why. When she feels out of control cutting helps ger calm down. Sometimes she would sit in her room crying and a razor in her hand. She never felt more alone. She just wanted to be hugged and someone to love her and tell her everything's gonna be okay. Sometimes she thought about dying. She wanted someone to understand and care.
You’re Beautiful…
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Drama, pain, depression, self harm, eating disorder