“Dean! What happened? Where’s Cas?”

“He’s gone,” Dean grunted out, obvious red eyes and tear-stained cheeks scaring Sam for what happened. Dean pushed out of the room. Sam found him ten minutes later at the kitchen table with a bottle of scotch.

“Dean, what happened?”

“Did you know he made a deal? Hm? With the Empty… To save Jack apparently.” Dean punctuated his sentences with sips from the bottle. “Saved me too I guess. He told me that… He told me-- I’m going to my room! If you know what’s good for you, you won’t come looking for me.” He stormed off. Around a minute later Sam heard a loud crash from Dean’s room. He winced but ultimately ignored it and walked down to see Jack.

He knocked on Jack’s bedroom door. Standing for a second, he decided to shout through the door. He was about to speak when Jack opened the door.

“Sam, what happened?” he asked.

“He’s um… he’s gone, Jack.” Sam swallowed. “Dean said he made a deal with the Empty.”

“Oh, so he’s… gone gone.”

“Yeah.”

“Can we get him back?” Jack asked, hopefully.

“I don’t know yet. I’m gonna do some research.”

“Well, um-- let me know if you need help. I’ll be in here.” Jack solemnly responded.

Sam walked back down the hall. He heard sobbing coming from Dean’s room. He chose to ignore it and kept walking.

It had been 2 weeks, 5 days, and 12 bottles of whiskey since Cas was taken by the Empty. Dean came out of his room at around Day 3. Now, he drank his days away at the Map Table. Sam supposed this was at least a little healthier. Dean wouldn’t talk much. When Jack asked him what happened to Cas he threw a chair and stormed off back to his room. The bunker was even quieter than usual.

Everyone disappeared. Now the whole world was quieter than usual. Neither Sam nor Jack thought Dean was ready to fight. Dean thought otherwise and it didn’t seem a good idea to argue with a drunk guy holding a loaded pistol. Dean had changed. Whatever Cas had said must have struck a chord within him. He didn’t kill Chuck, even when he begged. He’s not a killer, not anymore.

Dean opened another bottle when they got back to the bunker.

“Dean you have to stop,” Sam pleaded.

“Who are you to tell me what I need to do?” Dean shouted.

“This isn’t the first time we’ve lost him. What makes this any different? You keep going like this, and you’re gonna kill yourself!”

“What even makes you think I want to live anymore?”

“Dean, you heard what Billie said, no takebacksies this time. This time it’s final.” The pause after Sam spoke was pregnant with admissions unsaid.

“I can’t get him back this time,” Dean said, “he said it’s final.”

“Dean, what did he say to you?”

“It’s none of your business, Sam.”

“You know he would be upset with you if he saw you drinking like this again. You told him you would stop.”

“Well if he didn’t want me like this then he wouldn’t have told me he loved me!” Dean shouted, startling Sam again with his sudden intensity.

“Oh… Did you-- did you say it back?”

“He was gone before I even knew what he said,” Dean said, more timidly this time than at any earlier point in the conversation, “I’m going to bed.”

“Dean wait,” Sam pulled his brother into a tight hug. Giving up, Dean melted into it. After around ten seconds had passed, Dean smacked his brother’s back and said, “Okay, okay, let go you yeti.”

Sam pulled back from the hug, seeing tears in his brother’s eyes and the faintest hint of a smile on his face.

“I’m still going to bed, Sam.”

“Hey, leave the bottle, will you?” Sam asked, trying not to seem obvious that he wanted to get Dean sober enough to function. Dean shook his head.

“No, not happening.”

Sam watched his brother walk down the hall, taking a swig out of the bottle as he left. He walked to the library and pulled the cover off of the stack of books he had been working through with Jack to try and find a way to get Cas back. Sam grabbed a beer from the fridge, opened a dusty old tome that probably hadn’t been opened since the original Men of Letters had been in the bunker, and started to take notes.

A week but only one bottle later, Sam found what could be an answer. He checked with Jack, asking if he thought it would be possible, gathered up the supplies for the spell from the storage room, and, once the spell was set up, he knocked on Dean’s bedroom door.

His brother peeked his head through the small opening he made and asked what Sam needed.

“We found it,” Sam claimed.

“Okay, Mister Cryptic, can I ask what you found?” came Dean’s snarky reply.

“A way into the Empty.”

“When can we go?”

“I mean, I can do the spell now, but don’t you want some time to prepare? We don’t have any backup once you’re in and you’re only gonna have about ten minutes to get Cas and get out.”

“Sam, I’m going now,” Dean pushed past his brother into the hall. “Where are we doing this?”

“Um… The spell only works where a portal to the Empty has been opened before, so, we need to go to the storage room you guys were in when Cas… uh-”

“Just grab the stuff and stop talking.”

Dean grabbed the Colt and an angel blade he had lying around before he started toward the storage room. Jack stopped him in the hallway. They hadn’t seen each other in a week since they ended Chuck’s reign of terror.

“Good luck, Dean,” Jack said, “Please get him back.”

Dean patted him on the shoulder, turning around before tears could form in his eyes.

The brothers stood together in silence once Same had finished setting up the spell.
“Dean, we don’t have to do this yet if you’re not ready. We have time,” Sam reminded his brother.

“I can’t put Cas through what he’s going through in there any longer than I have to. He doesn’t deserve that.”

Sam nodded and began to mix the ingredients together while chanting Enochian. Hearing those syllables that Dean still didn’t understand, despite knowing his angel for over a decade now, made Dean’s heart ache even more for Cas.

Dean watched as the gooey black portal opened again, on the same wall as before, and he could have sworn that he saw Cas standing there again, saying goodbye as he got swallowed by the void.

“Good luck, Dean,” Sam said, “Be careful.”

Dean nodded and stepped through the portal.

The first thing he noticed was how cold it was inside the Empty. He wished that he had brought another jacket. The next thing he noticed was a perfect clone of himself standing across from him. Oh, crap, he thought, I was hoping it wouldn’t wake up.

“Well hello there, buckaroo,” the copy of himself said, “you coming to get your little boy toy back?”

“Okay, dude.” Dean shot the entity standing before him. The clone fell to the ground, coating the inky black simulation of a floor in bright red blood before dissipating into nothingness.

“Oh ho ho, you didn’t think getting rid of me would be that easy, did you? I have lived forever. I have watched gods rise and fall, got some of them here myself even,” the copy trailed off before starting again, “I would really think, the great Dean Winchester of all people would be smart enough to talk first and shoot later. Guess you’re still Daddy’s Little Soldier, huh? I know everything he knows, your pet angel, I mean. I know what he said to you before I got ahold of him. I know why you went through all the trouble of coming to me. He really does love you, y’know. Shame he won’t ever hear you say it back.”

Dean was furious but he knew he had to play politician right now if he had any chance of getting out of here, with Cas or without.

“You’re tired, aren’t you? You just want to sleep all the time like a depressed teenager, huh? I know Cas is keeping you awake in here,” Dean didn’t know that for certain but sometimes gambling is the best option. “I have a proposal for you. Let me take Cas home and we will never bother you again, and if we do, you can take me, Cas, Sam, and Jack forever. No fighting or anything, we’ll just come peacefully and you can keep sleeping.”

“Deal. But I also get to take everyone you’ve ever cared about, you know, up there behind the pearly gates? They come here too. And you never get to see them again.”

Dean wondered if it was really even worth it. He remembered what Metatron said all those years ago. Ultimately, it was only for one man. Cas gave up so much for him. Fuck it. Dean shook the Empty’s outstretched hand.

A moment passed before Dean was nearly blinded by an incomprehensible light. He fell to his knees realizing that what he was looking at was Cas, unburdened by his physical form. Tears streamed down his face in relief and awe staring up at Cas. He was beautiful. Dean couldn’t even understand what he was seeing in total, only the parts he knew from different earthly things, wings, eyes, horns. Before he could say anything, he found himself jolted, and crashing into the storage room floor, next to Cas, now in his earth-dwelling form.

Dean pulled himself up to his knees and fell into Cas, dragging him down into a tight embrace.

“Don’t you ever do that to me again,” Dean half-shouted.

“What do you mean?”

“You told me you love me and just ran right off before I even knew what was going on!” Dean pulled back from the hug.

“I apologize, Dean, I should not have said that to you. I am deeply sorry.”

“You dummy, I l- I feel the same way. Maybe if you had brought it up before we were about to die then we could have ironed this all out.”

Cas’s expression was one of unfiltered shock. Dean pulled him into a kiss before he could respond. Cas’s lips were frozen for a moment before his brain could catch up with the revelations he just received. Before he could start to kiss back he heard Sam clearing his throat.

“Look, I’m glad you two cleared things up, but I would prefer if you could make out somewhere more private and not in front of me.”

“Oh… Apologies, Sam.” Cas said, at the same time Dean responded, “You’ve seen worse you big, hairy, baby. If you don’t want to see then don’t look.”

“Dean, I am inclined to agree with Sam in this instance. I would also like to get cleaned up, the Empty… uh, well… goo I guess, is very sticky.”

“Wait, Cas, can’t you just zap yourself clean like usual?” Sam butted in.

“I believe my grace was ripped out when we exited the Empty. I am human now.”

“Are you okay?” Dean asked, “Like, are you just a healthy human, or is there something wrong?”

“I should be as healthy as possible, although I am not capable of telling whether or not there is something wrong with my body on my own anymore.”

They all heard loud footsteps running down the hallway.

“Cas! You’re alive!” Jack shouted in excitement. Cas pulled him into a tight hug.

“Jack, I missed you so much, I am so sorry that I couldn’t say goodbye to you.”

“It’s okay, it just matters that you’re back.”

Cas smiled fondly at the young man.

“Alright,” Dean said, ruining the moment, “let's get cleaned up and I’ll make burgers for dinner. How does that sound to everyone?”

Dean was hit with the cacophony of requests from the other three in the room.

“Okay, okay, I know. Two patties for Cas, a vegan burger for Sam. That’s not even really a burger you know.” Sam glared at his brother. “Okay fine. Whatever. Extra ketchup and cheese for Jack.” Dean was met with nods all around. “See, still got it.” This time he was met with rolled eyes.

Everything would turn out okay now. As long as they all had each other.