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5th Twilight:Glistening Sin (Renesmee's Story) chapter 1
Chapter 1
Nightmare
A blur of memories sweeped through my mind as clear as crystal, like I was there at this very moment. Daddy's glistening grin when I went on my first hunt, mommy's first time she layed her chocolate human eyes on me. I could taste her smell on my tongue. It lingered so long I already felt like I was indulging her. I could feel her heart beat. She stared at me contently oblivious to what I was feeling. I needed this person, but why did I want her for that other reason too?
I could feel a want for something else. But why? I wanted nothing more than her to be with me and I had it. But it was that burn in my throat was like a fire like a blue flame, the hottest of them all that drew me in closer to her irresistible scent. I could not resist, I latched onto her neck and heard a faint cry, I had hurt her. My one, my only. I snapped back feeling horrendous of my behavior. I then felt something cool grasping me away, as cool as ice. My father, my other only. He did not look happy with me either. This dream had turned into a slow, but sudden nightmare. Nightmare, the word sent a spark up my whole body.
That word only belonged to the person who frightened me the most. No not person but people. The volturi. The cruel twisted people who believe they are some type of heroes. But to be a hero you have to listen. They only gave a minute for my family to explain who I was. I could feel my teeth clench together with the force of a great white shark. Aro, with his jet black shoulder length hair. Caius, with his concrete grimace indented into his porcelain skin. Jane with her tormenting gift of pain. It was my family that they were going to calmly kill. It was my Jacob and his pack. Emmett, Jasper, Rose, Alice, Esme, Carlisle, Mommy and Daddy. They wanted to slaughter them and it was all because of me.
I wish I could have been born with the gift of destroying. Destroying everything in my path as if it all were toothpicks. Just toothpicks. Aro, Caius, and Jane, utensils that you pick your teeth with. I could get used to that. But I'm not I am only a half dead person that touches people to tell them what I did for the day. Couldn't I just talk to them?
So, I call myself the glistening sin that plopped into a family of perfect proportion. They are one species, one mind set. I am two species, predator and prey jammed in one body. Yet everyone calls me a miracle. I just think I am an addicting burden no one seems to be able to let go of. In my year of living, I have already put every one I love in danger. No not danger, into a death sentence. Wait, I guess I am a miracle, in making world records.
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This article has 34 comments.
dkA.M - I just want to make it clear that I wasn't offended by anything you wrote. I liked what you wrote. In my original comment, the suggestions I made were meant to be helpful. I realized later that I was wrong about the spelling of Renesmee, which I corrected in my second comment.
As to the other part of my orignal comment about the bite, I did go back and look at BD and on pg. 353 it says,
"And then she gasped--gasped in pain.
By the time I looked, it was too late. Edward had snatched the warm, bloody thing out of her limp arms. My eyes flickered across her skin. It was red with blood--the blood that had flowed from her mouth, the blood smeared all over the creature, and fresh blood welling out of a tiny double-crescent bite mark just over her left breast."
and then on pg. 372 it says,
"She leaned her head down, against my chest, burrowing against the warmth. Her skin was warm and silky, but it didn't give the way mine did.
Then there was pain again--just one warm slash of it. I gasped."
That is the bite I was referring to.
HAHA thank you guys for having my back. It is very kind ;)
Robsessed, if you read breaking dawn, you will read that renesmee does in fact bite her neck, I mean come on!! Ahaha that it what all of the vampire stories are about. "the girl's neck smelled sweet and irresistible" I gurantee you there was never a story of vampire's that read "Her upper breast smelt sweet and irresistible"
AHAHA that was not meant to offend you :D lol it was meant to hopefully make you and others laugh... but thank you for reading and I hope you venture far into you writing career
~`peace`~
kkharris - I know how Renesmee is prounounced, I NEVER critiqued that. It was the spelling I was critiquing and I wasn't doing it to be rude. I was under the impression (the wrong one, I now know) that I was being helpful.
P.S. I don't need you to tell me that this is the Fan Fiction section.