A scruffy, unshaven man drudges forward into the elevator as the doors close behind him. “Where you headed man?” asks Zac Brown. “Fifth, 7th, 10th floor?”
Beep.
“Well he ain’t going home, I’d bet my green card on it.” George Lopez sneers.
Zac Brown looks to George Lopez with a puzzled look on his face.
“Sabes que! Zac this is Eldrick Tont Woods. Tiger Woods. The man who…you know.” George Lopez smirks with a nod in Tigers direction.
“You want a golf club to your head?” Tiger shrieks at George.
Beep. Beep.
“Well, I don’t know what you can do, but if you swing like your wife then sabes que
no thank you.”
“George, be nice. He can’t help it, the other girl just got whatever it is,” snickers Zac Brown.
“Yeah, and so did those other three girls.” Lopez laughs while concealing his face.
“Sometimes you just do it.” Tiger forces a smile while bouncing a Nike golf ball.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
“Yeah but it sounds to me like you got your toes in some hot water,” says Zac Brown with a

crooked stare.

“Like I always say it ain’t devious until the devil catches you himself.” George Lopez smiles so

his gold tooth glares in the elevator light.

“Would you guys say that an angry wife is as bad as the devil?” Zac Brown’s eyes are locked on

Tigers hip like a missile.

George and Tiger had both been facing the doors, but now they whirled around. Simultaneously

they said, “Worse.”

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

“At first, I thought the elevator numbers were broken but we haven’t moved since Tiger got into

the elevator. It has seen better days but I still heard a beeping and I thought we were moving.”

“Why do you look like you drank too much gin and juice?” Tiger inquired as he eyed up

Zac Brown.

“That beeping is Tiger’s cell phone,” stutters Zac Brown. “She’s tracking him.”

Suddenly the elevator doors begin to be wrenched open.

“She’s baaaaack,” winces George Lopez.


There is a bright light on the other side and once their eyes adjust, Tiger is gone.

“Every little bit of him is gone.” Zac begins to blubber. “He never even answered my question.”