Hello. I've been waiting for you. No, you're not wearing red. I know I'm not looking at you, but my canine nose is just that good. You're very lucky you're not wearing red, sir. You'll fiind out why soon enough.
Why are you so nervous? Oh, you've never seen a talking a wolf before. Not many humans do. We don't say much around them but around our own kind we can be real chatterboxes. Why is my mouth so big? So I can tell you the truth behind my crimes. Ha! My name is Rolf.
I bet you're also shy because of what I've done. I do admit to being an attempted murderer. But I need to tell someone the truth. That's why I'm here. Please reach out to an old sinner.
What now? I guess you would want to know how I survived. I mean everyone has heard that woodcutter chopped me up after I ate Ruby Rider and her granny. The fact is, I was training to be a magician once. I was the assistant to Marvelous Melinda. Point is, I was sawed in half a few times so surely I can take being struck with an axe. The whole thing was actually rather convenient. Since everyone thought I was dead no one persecuted me. It made me a free wolf.
And now, why I did it. Honestly, don't be scared, Mr. Therapist! I assure you I don't kill for pleasure. For the love of Lucy, being a wolf doesn't a monster make. Sane wolves don't murder pointlessly.
You might remember me telling you that you would find out why you're lucky you're not wearing red. Well, I'll tell you why.
I hate, HATE the color RED! I don't like cardinals, or strawberries, or red roses, or red tulips, or blood. Back when I was much younger, there was a posse of wolf hunters. They slaughtered my entire pack. They killed my wife! She was pregnant!
And every last one of them wore that hateful color. All wore red hoods. I got my revenge, and I didn't bother making it swift! I killed them all. I shredded their hoods. I could barely stand to see their blood, for it was the same color.
And I guess you want to hear about Ruby Rider. I was running in the woods, minding my own business, when I heard something coming on the dirt road. It was little Ruby on her bike with her basket of goodies. Now she was going fast and furious. She ran over my tail, which made me howl. She stopped and I saw she wore a RED HOOD! This is when I started to lose my common sense.
She looked at me and said, "Don't you think it's a little dumb to run in the road, Wolfy?" How rude! If there's one thing I hate as much as red, it's rude people.
"Don't you think it's a little dangerous to be in the woods alone?"
"I'm not scared of strangers. Speaking of strangers, who are you?"
"I'm Rolf."
"I'm Ruby Rider. Are you going to try to kill me, Rolf?"
"Not likely. I don't like to kill children. Where are you going?"
"My granny's sick. I'm taking her a few pies." With that, she rode off. I found her quite rude. Because of that, and the red hood, I was already planning to kill her.
Well, I made it to her granny's house before she did. I was just planning to surprise Ruby there. But I heard the old lady stirring, and I didn't want any witnesses. So, regretfully I ate her. Then, as you know, I put on her bonnet and gown, got in her bed, and waited.
Ruby showed up. I think you know how it goes. Blah-blah, big eyes, blah-blah, big teeth, blah-blah, better to eat you with. I was in the process of eating Ruby when the woodcutter broke and entered, and he introduced me to the business end of his axe while saving Ruby and Granny.
Well, now you know the real story. I'm not proud of it, I'm really not. It was one of the worst days of my life. What, you're cold? OK, get your coat. Wait, it's . . . it's . . . RED!! GRRR! AR! SNARL! GROWL! GRR! AHHWWOOOOO!!

Here we go again.
To be continued? Maybe. . .