“Is your name Conrad?”
“No.”
“Is your name Harry?”
“No.”
“Then perhaps your name is Rump - uh - Rum - um. Rumford. Is your name Rumford?”
“Ha! NO WAY JOSE!” yelled the little man.
“That’s not my name-”
“SILENCE! Now you must give me your daughter!”

There once was a little man who spun gold for a living. The king and queen were greatly impressed by his work, and so he spun their items to gold for them in only a night’s work. After a few times, the little man wanted to be repaid and thanked properly; however, neither the king nor the queen knew his name and it was up to them to guess correctly, otherwise the little man would have to take their first born child. Unfortunately for the king and queen, they could not guess the little man’s name, even with a fortune spent on private investigators and excessive eavesdropping. They were forced to give up their poor, helpless first born child to the little man whose name remained unknown until then.
“Rumpelstiltskin,” said the little man.
“Excuse me?” the queen exclaimed.
“That’s my name; Rumpelstiltskin.” Then the little man was gone; far, far away from the kingdom, he lived with his stolen child.
Rumpelstiltskin undertook as the child’s caregiver. He named her, fed her, cared for her - as said in the name - and he loved her.
“Rapunzel, come here. It’s time for dinner!” yelled the little man.
The young girl stumbled over her long, uncut, golden hair as she hurried down the stairs to see her father. She inhaled the sweet aroma of her favorite food: ramen noodles. (Specifically beef flavored ramen.) She sat in a little wooden chair right next to her father at the dinner table.
“I made your favorite! Happy 12th birthday!”
“Thank you so much, Daddy! And also, thanks for spinning my hair into gold, I love it! It really brings out my eyes,” Rapunzel said excitedly. She had always loved the scent and long-lasting flavor of ramen; she figured it was just because her father had her try some when she was young. 
“That’s not all I have for you, sweetheart,” said the little man to his stolen child, or rather, his daughter. “Hold onto your ramen.”
“What? Why?”
“Just do it!”
She instantaneously held the bowl of ramen in her arms and hugged it tightly. The little man snapped his fingers while Rapunzel squinched her eyes shut.
When Rapunzel opened her eyes, she was sitting next to her father in a beautiful meadow by a tall, colorful tower. It was surrounded by a beautiful forest, blooming with grace and diverse shades of light. A shiny, blue river shimmered from the light reflecting from it; bright, yellow daisies surrounded the tower, luring her into wonderful world of longlasting charm and appreciation.
Her eyes sparkled at this amazing sight. She stared in awe for what seemed like forever, then turned over to her father and said, “This is a dream come true! Oh, thank you, Daddy! Thank you so much!”
Rapunzel hastily stood up to give the little man a hug. She was able to make it to the hug, but the ramen slipped out of her arms
“Aw, don’t worry about it, dearie!”
The little man snapped his fingers, and the bowl of ramen noodles was gone!
“Oh, no! My ramen!” Rapunzel cried out.
“Ah, but you shall not fear! Rumpelstiltskin is here!”
He snapped his fingers again, then the ramen reappeared, all lovely and respiced with beef flavor, just how she liked it.
“Yay!” Rapunzel sprung to the bowl; and with another snap of the little man’s fingers, Rumpelstiltskin and Rapunzel were both high up inside the tower.
The inside was just as beautiful as the outside; if not, more beautiful! Everything glowed with a golden hue; wonderful patterns covered the walls, the floors were clear as crystal; it was like looking inside a castle: clean, pure, and proper. A fragile glass table was set in the center of the tower, and the crystal stairs on the round side led to a room with a bed. A picture of Rapunzel and the little man from a time in Rapunzel’s pleasant, peaceful childhood hung on the wall above the bed.
“Rapunzel, this is where you’re going to stay,” said the little man.
“It’s beautiful,” Rapunzel said slowly. Her jaw remained open, eyes wide. She covered her mouth with both hands in surprise. After a moment, she snapped out the shock and turned towards the little man. “What do you mean I’m going to stay here?”
“You’re going to be living here.”
“How am I gonna leave?” Rapunzel looked out the window. Her voice shook. “We’re really high up.”
“You’re not going to leave, but I can. I will get you everything you need and I will teach you everything you need to know.”
“But father, I-” Rapunzel whimpered softly as tears formed in her eyes.
“I’m sorry, Rapunzel.”
There was a short pause, then Rapunzel began to tremble and fell to her knees.
“You can take back your stupid ramen!” Rapunzel cried as she threw her bowl at the little man and put her hands to her face.
“That’s no longer mine, Rapunzel. Here.” He flipped the bowl back over, and handed it to her. “You’re a smart, beautiful, young woman, Rapunzel. You will be able to live without me for only a few short hours a day, right?”
Rapunzel didn’t look back up; she just sobbed right into her hands as she lay on the floor.
The little man snapped his fingers. The ramen bowl was refilled and the mess was gone. He gave Rapunzel the fresh bowl of noodles, left it on the glass table in the middle of the tower, snapped his fingers, then he vanished.
This wasn’t normally how he would leave, but it was an emotional time for him and his daughter. The little man had somehow managed to keep the secret of from Rapunzel for all twelve years of her life. He had stolen his Rapunzel from the King and Queen, so he had to lock her up in the tower in order for her not to discover this while she was still growing up. He knew it would be hard for her to take in.
The little man would visit Rapunzel every day up in her tower. Whenever he called, “Rapunzel, Rapunzel! Let down your hair,” her long, blonde hair, which he had spun to gold for her twelfth birthday, would gracefully fall down the window to pull him up.
The little man would teach Rapunzel something new every day. He taught her magic, which he learned as a child; for example, how to cause hypnosis by using only voice. Rumpelstiltskin called it the Jigglypuff, but Rapunzel never understood why.
“Ok, Rapunzel- you see that ant right there? I want you to try using it on that lil’ guy,” the little man said calmly, pointing to the small insect as it slowly crawled on by.
“Ok,” Rapunzel hesitated.
She stuttered for a moment, then the words started flowing from her mouth in a soft, silvery voice:
“Oh, little ant, I wish for my own
You can sit by me all day in my home-”
Strangely enough, rather than just the one ant peacefully following Rapunzel’s voice, a bunch of ants began pouring through the small cracks in the walls.
“Oh my! Enough of this!” the little man hollered. With the wave of his hands, all the ants disappeared from the tower.
“Well, Rapunzel, I gotta say: I didn’t expect that. I’m very proud to be your father,” the little man said with a soft, peaceful tone.
Rapunzel was taught almost everything the little man knew. She could finally make ramen noodles appear on her own without any help! The little man even taught her how to weave, bake, and spin gold from straw, yet Rapunzel still had no idea Rumpelstiltskin wasn’t her real father.
The little man couldn’t let her experience the real world; it would be too harsh for her to handle. He wanted her to be able to protect herself from harm’s way before he let her go, so the little man would go around making deals with the king and queen to keep her away from the public eye.
One day, a few months after Rapunzel’s seventeenth birthday, a prince walked by the tower. To the outside world, the tower is basically invisible. It was strange, like something existing in the back of your mind but you never paid attention to, as if it wasn’t there. Rapunzel’s voice could be heard out the window of the tower, so the prince stopped and listened. Rapunzel continued to sing as the prince sat in the soft, green grass and listened wondrously until the sun set.
Inside the tower, there was a bit of a different outlook on the situation. Rapunzel had heard something from outside, and didn’t know what to do. There was a boy outside the window sitting at the bottom of the tower. She had never seen another human being before in her life besides her father, but it was bound to happen someday. Rapunzel decided to do what her father had taught her, and she sang a hypnotic tune. It went something like:
“Oh, little boy, I wish for my own
You can sit by me all day in my home.
And once I am done with my magic request,
You’ll be spicy and flavorful, ready to digest.”
The hypnotic sound waves were able to reach the boy and he fell into a trance. He sat by the tower and waited, unable to approach Rapunzel.
Rapunzel’s father was not home at the time, so she was unsure of what to do about the prince. She just sat alone singing in her tower, waiting for her father to come home before she could stop.
“Rapunzel, Rapunzel! Let down your hair!”
Rapunzel was finally able to stop singing. She looked out the window to see if the strange boy was still around. She spotted the boy in the distance, along with the little man who was standing right by the tower. She looked back at the boy and glared in hopes he would leave quickly. Then she focused back on the little man.
“Father!” she exclaimed and let down her golden locks.
The Prince was there watching, but once he noticed the beautiful lady up in the window of the tower saw him, he fled.
__________________________________________________________________

The Prince spent a great deal of his life obsessing over the beautiful girl in the tower.
“How could a girl, banned from any kind of human interaction, have such an alluring, distinct voice? It doesn’t seem possible. It can’t be,” the prince muttered to himself.
He then remembered what the little man said while calling out to the girl in the tower. “Rapunzel, Rapunzel! Let down your hair.”
“Hm. Rapunzel. Must be her name! I shall go back tomorrow and listen to her! No, not tomorrow. I must know more.”
The Prince asked around the castle to see if anyone had ever heard of the girl who was locked away in a tower. He could never figure out if they were just keeping secrets from him, or if they actually had no clue what he meant.
He had no more information than he had originally, but it didn’t matter to him. The Prince was to go back to the tower to meet the girl, despite the consequences.
He set out to find the forsaken tower. He was able to rediscover it, and so he hesitated toward the window side. He couldn’t believe he was actually going to do it.
“Rapunzel,” the prince faltered. “Rapunzel, let down your hair!”
_________________________________________________________________
Rapunzel thoughtlessly let down her extravagant, golden hair. She was not paying attention to who was speaking, and so she pulled the person up thinking it was her father. When she noticed who had just come through her window, she screamed. Again, she was unsure of what to do, so she hurriedly began singing her favorite song.
“Oh, little boy, I wish for my own
If I can’t have you, then I’ll turn to stone-”
“No, no! There’s no need for that! I’m just here to say hi,” the boy interrupted her.
Rapunzel, scared to death, backed away slowly. She had never been in this kind of situation before. She recognized the boy from before, but she didn’t think he would come back.
“I, uh. I like your hair,” the boy said.
Rapunzel tried to explain why she was singing with her magic hypnosis power. Unfortunately she could only get one word out: “Jigglypuff.”
Paying no attention to what the girl had just said before, the prince blurted out, “Do you like ramen noodles? Because I ramen-esce about you every day.”
Somehow, that sparked something between the two of them.
Rapunzel slowly but steadily made her way towards the boy. She cautiously touched his face to make sure he was real. It was weird; the boy was nothing like what her father had told her about the real world. He was tall, sweet, gentle; she had always learned to defend herself, but from what?
The prince slowly put his hand on Rapunzel’s cheek, then she backed up a bit. She was like a cat; soft, sweet, and scared, but wasn’t afraid to cut you if you were to break her.
The girl deliberately came close to the boy, and he pulled her in more.
Outside the tower, the water’s reflection was even brighter, the meadow shined with sparks. The forest was filled with light and it flashed with sparkles. Then everything was soundless; undisturbed; peaceful. All that could be heard coming from inside the tower was the squeaky sound of moving furniture.
“So, Rapunzel. I love you and I really hope you feel the same about me. I’m so happy, I must be enchanted to have found you. Rapunzel, will you be my princess? My queen? Will you marry me?” Prince Ramen said eagerly from Rapunzel’s bed.
Rapunzel’s eyes widened. She didn’t know what to say, so she didn’t say anything at all. She just snapped her fingers.
“What did you just do?” the prince said.
Suddenly he could feel everything about him getting loose; his limbs were wobbly and he felt claustrophobic, surrounded by a watery substance.
The prince evolved into ramen noodles!
Rapunzel took her bowl of Prince ramen noodles and started slurping. He was the best ramen she’d ever eaten in her entire life. He was filled with life and love; she wanted him to be a part of her forever.
The little man came home soon after the incident, and he noticed something different about the mood around the tower.
“Rapunzel, Rapunzel! Let down your hair!” the little man yelled up to his child.
Her golden hair fell through the window, as usual, and the little man was pulled up.
“What happened? I can feel you’ve been using magic. It seems to be especially powerful-” The little man paused. He followed the aura of Rapunzel’s black magic, and glared directly at her stomach. “There’s magic in your stomach...or is it…” The little man looked down about an inch lower than her stomach. “Oh my!”
This is what Rumpelstiltskin had always been afraid of.
“What are you talking about? I don’t feel any magic,” Rapunzel said arrogantly, slowly and secretly building up magic in her hands behind her back.
“Rapunzel, don’t lie to me. What did you do?”
Rapunzel crept a smile, trying to hold back her laughter. She had never gotten in trouble before so she had no clue how to react. This was the first major decision she had gotten to make on her own, and she had become delirious with her power.
The little man sighed, determining whether or not he should come clean to his daughter. He could feel more magic coming from Rapunzel, and this was when he decided it was time to confess.
Rapunzel took her hands from behind her back, and just before she snapped her fingers, the little man stopped her.
The little man jumped to his daughter and gently held both of her hands in his. “Rapunzel, I know I deserve whatever it is you’re about to do, but let me just tell you something first.”
Then the little man said something Rapunzel would never forget:
“I’m not your father and I never will be. I stole you from the king and queen!”
Rapunzel paused to think for a moment.
“So that boy I met, he’s my brother? Did he mean it when he asked me to be his queen?!” Rapunzel exclaimed, her voice escalating. Once she didn’t get a definite response, she pulled her hands away from the little man, her eyes filled with rage. “How could I have trusted you all this time? You’re a liar! A fraud!” Rapunzel screamed. 
“Rapunzel, you don’t understand! I was trying to protect you! Your parents,” the little man hesitated for a moment. “Your parents were going to hurt you…”
“Stop lying to me!” Rapunzel’s voice started to give out and she choked on her words.
Rapunzel snapped her fingers.
“Rapunzel, no!”
Suddenly Rumplestiltskin could feel everything about him getting loose; his limbs were wobbly and he felt claustrophobic, surrounded by a watery substance.
Rapunzel frantically used her Ramen-stiltskin and spun it into rope so she could escape the tower. Once she landed on the ground outside the tower for the first time in forever, the Ramen-stiltskin splattered through the grass surrounding the tower.
She then fiercely began chomping away on the Ramen-stiltskin, never to see any family she had known ever again.
It turned out Rapunzel was pregnant from her brother, the prince. She eventually had twins, but she felt so disgusting for having children with her brother. Her uncomfort with the situation led to Rapunzel using her magic on the twins and they both became baby ramen. Soon after, Rapunzel started her own ramen noodle business called Prince Ramen, and her kids were the first two bowls of ramen sold.
She later realized she no longer had any family left. She began feeling lonely and depressed, so she turned herself into ramen and imploded until there was none of her left.

Oh, ramen noodle, I wish for my own
You can sit by me all day in my home,
And once I am done with my magic request,
You’ll be spicy and flavorful, ready to digest.

Oh ramen noodle, I wish for my own
If I don’t have you, I’ll be turned to stone.
And if you aren’t as good as the last,
Oh, Prince Ramen, I’ll still eat as you asked.
The end.