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Don't Scream
I was under his control for three years. I hadn’t seen outside those walls in 18 months. I still remember that dreadful day of the abduction. They say after a while you start acting normally again. Well I guess I am just different; I will never be normal again.
My name is Kelsey. A man in the park abducted me on April 23, 2001. I was fifteen when my life got turned around. I had a different perspective on life.
I was walking in the park with my boyfriend Peter. I remember the laughter of the children, the incense of the park, and the cologne that Peter was wearing. It’s funny that I remember the little details of the horrific day. Peter left me for a split second, and that’s when it happened.
The man grabs me from behind. He puts his hand over my mouth, leaned in and whispered in my ear, “You scream, you die.” Tears are rushing down my face. I am screaming in my head over and over but nothing comes out of my mouth. He leans in again and says, “Now walk.” I am terrified but I do as he asks. The man uncovers my mouth but keeps the gun pinned against my side. We move quickly, I assume it is to attract the least amount of attention as possible.
Surprisingly he puts me in the front of the van not the back. I have so many questions to ask. I finally get the courage to ask him,
“Why?” I whispered.
“Huh?” he replied questioningly.
I tried not to look at him. I looked down and said with a stern voice,
“Why. Why did you pick me?”
He replied with a frightening smile; not words.
“Where are we going?”
“Nevada” he answered quickly.
I have more questions a want to ask but I am afraid that if I do then he will turn the gun on me now.
His characteristics are hard to study. He is tall; I would say around 6’2’’. He has short, light brown hair. He is skinny, white, maybe early 30’s. His voice is lower than normal. He has no facial hair; he is clean-cut. He didn’t seem like the type of guy who would kidnap a fifteen-year old girl.
I am curious why he chose me. I don’t know him. I doubt he knows me. I don’t even want to know what pain Peter is going through right now.
As I am sitting here in the man’s van, I wonder if anyone saw him take me. We must have passed multiple couples, why didn’t they help me? Didn’t they…He interrupted me.
“You don’t talk much”
“I guess I didn’t know what to say,” I said sheepishly.
“What’s your name?” he said curiously.
“K-Kelsey.” I said quietly.
“Beautiful.”
“Thanks.” I said. “What about you?”
“Tony” he replied hesitantly.
“You never answered me,” I said quietly.
“No I didn’t,” he said with a glare.
“Are you going to?” he asked.
“I think I liked it better when you weren’t talking.”
It seems as if he had planned it all out. Where we’d stay, whom we’d meet, where we’d be at every minute.
We got to a house, a normal sized house, nothing special. He is walking around the van to my side, while I am opening the door; he grabs my arm so I won’t run. We are walking up to the house and two men met us at the door. Many different thoughts are going through my head. What are they going to do to me? Why did he pick me?
Nick, the taller and skinnier of the two; said to Tony, ”We thought you weren’t going to show up.” Tony looks at me and says, “Phil, take her upstairs to change clothes.” The thoughts are growing as the conversation goes on. Phil takes me by the arm, and leads me upstairs. We walk into one of the bedrooms with an outfit lying on the bed. It is an all black mini skirt and top. The mini skirt barely covers my underwear, and the top barely covers my bra. Phil chuckled and said,
“Put it on.”
“Why? What are they going to do to me?”
“Whatever the hell we want. You belong to us now. As long as you are a good girl, you won’t be hurt to bad.”
Now I am very scared. Phil just told me I would get hurt no matter what. I am scared but I have to keep a positive attitude. Nothing lasts forever. I whisper to myself.
“Okay I will put it on if I get some privacy.” I ordered.
“How do I know that you won’t run?” Phil said in a smart way.
“Where to? There are no windows and only one door.” I said.
He pondered this thought for a little bit. “Okay fine.” And left the room.
Slowly and disgustingly I put on the outfit I barely call clothes.
I walk out of the room. Phil runs his eyes up and down my body, than says, “Beautiful” He took me back downstairs; Nick and Tony are arguing. Tony looks up and sees me walking down the stairs. He stops yelling at Nick at looks me and says,
“Beautiful. Let’s go.”
“Go?” I am very confused. ”Where are we going” I ask again.
He starts walking up the stairs to grab my arm. Then starts for the door, then towards the car.
When we arrive at the building, he grabs my arm, and drags me into the apartment. We climb about three flights of stairs before we get to the room. We knock on the door and a tall, skinny man opens the door. Nick takes me to the back room and on the door there is a sign that reads: $25 per hour.
Within the first ten minutes three guys entered the room together. The men told me they paid extra to come in as a group. It feels like they have been here for hours. By the time they left the clock said they were only there for two and a half hours. As the night went on seven guys came into the room.
I don’t understand why I am the chosen one. I have never done anything this bad in my life. I would say that God is just punishing me; but in truth theses things just happen, it’s not anyone’s fault. My eyes are filling up with water as I think about what the men did to me.
After tonight, I wish I had screamed in the park. Why! Why did no one help me! I am mad but confused at the same time. I don’t want to live anymore!
There’s not a day in my life anymore that I don’t want to live. Every night I worry: is he coming in tonight? Is he going to rape me again? I always think: next times he comes in this room I will take his gun, pin it to my head, and pull the trigger. I don’t want to kill him; I want to kill myself. If I take his life all the memories will still be in my mind. Nothing can make my life normal again.
*
*
*
He made the mistake and this is my chance. Tony left y bedroom door open. I am thinking about the layout of the house so I can get out as soon as possible. I slowly walk towards the door. I hesitate to grab the door. What if they are standing right there? I have to take my chances. I slowly open the door, walk down the stairs as quickly but quietly as possible. Tony, Phil, and Nick are talking about money plans; and that is how I knew that it is my perfect chance. I get to the bottom of the stairs, and I run for my life. Phil is the only one who notices me, and I’m thinking o shit! But I won’t stop for anything.
I am barefoot running on gravel, not knowing if they are still following. I don’t know where I am going; I am just running as hard as I can. It’s a never-ending road; I feel like I have been running for forever.
Behind me I hear a car slowing down. I’m thinking: they found me. Do I stop? Or keep running? I start to pick up my pace a little bit but I hear the car speed up as well. The car speeds ahead of me, then sharply turns so the side door is facing me. The woman in the car rolls down the window and yells to me, “Come here please.” I take a breath in, and slowly walk towards the car. I am relieved. It isn’t Phil, Nick or Tony.
Rita, the woman in the car, asks, “Why are you running in the middle of nowhere?”
I am still trying to catch my breath “I don’t know where we are or how long I have been running.”
“Oh my, well we are in Hawthorne, Nevada. Why are you running?”
Starting to catch my breath, “can I get in, I’m freezing.”
She starts to clear a spot on her front seat.
“Thank you so much. I don’t know how you are going to take this. I am 18 years old and a man abducted me when I was 15. I was under his control for 3 years. He would rape me every night but this morning he left the bedroom door open so I ran and haven’t stopped since.
“Oh my God” she paused. “Do you want me to take you home?”
I looked at her “would you really do that?” I thought to myself: Is this really happening?
“Yes, where are you from?”
I looked at her nervously. “Sacramento, California” I thought she was going to say: “Get out” and leave me there. But surprisingly she said, “No problem, is there anyone you want to call. Mom, dad, brother, sister? I know when I was ….”
I looked at her questioningly: What did she mean when she said I was….
“Yes, would you really take me home?”
“Yes when I was 7 I was taken by a man from my house. I don’t remember all the details because I was so young, but I know what you are going through.”
“You lucky you don’t remember. I will always remember and it will follow me throughout my life.”
She digs through her purse looking for her phone. When she hands me the cell phone I hesitate before I press the call button. The phone rings 4 times before a child answers the phone. I recognize the voice it was my 8 year old sister.
I ask her “is Brianna there?” My little sister answers “yes, hang on I will get her.
Tears are running down my face. Just to hear my mother’s voice again will be the best thing to happen to me. There was a commotion on the phone and the my mother said “hello”.
I slowly respond “mom, it’s me Kelsey”
I hear my mother crying on the other end of the phone.
“Mom…. I’m coming home.”
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