Don't Lose Yourself | Teen Ink

Don't Lose Yourself

January 13, 2011
By PCOScrying BRONZE, Forest Hill, Maryland
PCOScrying BRONZE, Forest Hill, Maryland
2 articles 3 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Peace. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no trouble, noise, or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart."


The novel I was currently reading had Scottish vampires and shape-shifters in its context. The pages of the book fluttered back and forth from an unknown source of wind. Which startled me, for the book was lying on the table in front of me.
Words flowed off of pages into the air around me, along with voices speaking in different languages that I could not comprehend. A rabbit leaped out of its pages right at me. I gasped in shock as I watched it flee around the recliner chair I sat in. The novels pages slowed to a stop and the voices faded.
I pulled a box out from under my chair, and thought to myself I need to calm my nerves. I reached in my pocket and pulled out my lighter, I set both lighter and box on the table next to my novel. Opening the box I sigh in relief because I knew would have calm nerves in just a few moments.
I froze in mid thought. The unknown wind came howling out of the book as its pages fluttered wildly back and forth. The voices sputtering in its unknown tongues as words flew once again. A wolf hurled itself out of the book, and briskly ran toward the direction the rabbit had fled to. I sat still and stared blankly in its direction, half dumb founded, half scared.
Two falcons flew from the pages riding on the thermals of non-existent air as I watched from my seat. The larger than normal wolf walked proudly back towards me with its captured prize in his mouth. He lied down on the right side of my recliner, and ripped off a piece of its now meal. I looked away from the bloody sight.
The novels pages stopped moving abruptly and all went silent, and shadows began to seep out of it. Pages then began to shred themselves as pale hands burst thru. My eyes grew wide as two lean white as paper men stepped forth. But as they grew closer I realized they only looked like men. They were wearing white t-shirts and white pants and massive black feathered wings jutted from their backs. Tiny droplets of blood splashed on the flood from the massive feathers.
Both men were silent and stood about ten feet from where I sat. I stared blankly, with so many questions forming in my head yet unable to speak a word. The book then flew across the room and landed on my lap.
One of the men stepped forward as the other lingered behind. The closest one began to speak to me, but nothing came out of his moving lips. As I was about to say something the book on my lap fluttered open lightly. I glanced down at it and it began to speak, looking at the pale, winged man in front of me I realized the voice coming from the book currently was his. He was Scottish and his voice seemed somewhat empty.
He started by not telling me his name, but by telling me about his drug filled teenage years and supposedly pointless life. As I listen I watched the other man in the background, he was pulling out all too familiar leaves from his dark wings.
“Tis’ no fun when all ye’ feels inside is pain, and emptiness.” He coughs then continues, “But ye’ loves tis’ stuff, like I do aye? “ I looked back at him and he had moved closer, and goose flesh covered my arms. The wolf next to me stood up licking his jaws clean of blood, and stared at me for a second, as if he was contemplating, then turned his attention to the man in front of me. The man glared in the wolfs general direction and spoke, “Leave beast.”
The wolf growled at the winged man. Then spoke for himself, “Leave her be then, she does not need to become addicted to those substances that you once were.” I stood up frightened.
I glanced back at the other man who was now holding the leaves out stretched toward me. I looked closer at them and realized that they each individually had five leaves. Mary Jane, I thought.
The wolf walked in front of me and began chanting something that I could not comprehend.
“Don’t!” the man closest to me shouted. But the wolf ignored him and slowly stepped toward him while continuing his chant.
The leaves burst in to heated flame and quickly turned to ash. The fire grabbed a hold of the silent mans clothing and his whole body was quickly consumed by dancing flames. The book screamed in a different voice as he was being burned, causing the one closest to me to turn and help his partner.
As he did so the wolf ran around them and pounced on them causing howling, cursing, and screams to echo from the book as they all were falling over toward me. An enormous gust of wind hit me head on and I slumped back against the chair on impact as they disappeared for good.
As the book slipped from my hands and hit the floor. The ash from the leaves and the one mans remains scattered in the unknown wind and vanished.
The two falcons were still here, they settled around me. “What the h*** just happened?” I asked myself out loud. The birds perked up and flew through the walls which surprised me. I picked up the book and sat it on my lap and studied its binding. They flew back in from the same wall they had exited. The only thing different is that they were carrying a plant in their mouths…
I out stretched my hands and they dropped the leaves from their mouths, and I studied them. I picked up my lighter from the table and lit them on fire on the table. The birds began shrieking and flew in circles as the burst into flame and ash themselves.
I looked at my box on the table and pulled out my own leaves and set them afire on my table as well. As they burned I pulled out my cloth pouch and removed my chameleon glass bowl. I closed my eyes, took a breath and threw it across the room and heard the sound of my addiction end with the sound of shattering glass echoing in my head.
I jolted awake, light heatedly and looked around. There on my lap was shattered colored glass and ash, the remains of my two favorite things. I brushed it off and underneath the mess was a book from what I believe was from my dream.
I picked it up and began to read about fallen angels and creatures of darkness, my mother screamed. I bolted up the stairs.


The author's comments:
I went through some issues with drugs myself, and got over my addiction. So i wrote this to inspire others to quite drugs as well.

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This article has 1 comment.


andy said...
on Jan. 19 2011 at 5:33 pm
This is very good, i enjoyed it.