*JACK* | Teen Ink

*JACK*

July 14, 2011
By poetic.eyes PLATINUM, Everson, Washington
poetic.eyes PLATINUM, Everson, Washington
23 articles 3 photos 198 comments

Favorite Quote:
eARTh


A boy ran down a side street. Well, let us say a very young man. His hair was both blond and brown, strait, and flying across his face. His eyes were a pretty turquoise blue. No one ever noticed that he was at all handsome. He wore an ugly yellow shirt, gray pants and beige suspenders. He wore big black shoes with a hole at the front where a socked toe stuck out.
Behind him the sun began to sink towards the horizon. The sky slowly became pink. The soft pink of a ladies cheek. He hurried into a small run down building. Inside the noise was tremendous. Laughter ringing off the walls, singing, the sound of a fiddle. Dancing figures spun round and round. All was filled with excitement about a regular event. That’s what was so good about it. Jack, the boy who rushed in the door so silently hurried to the booth of the bar. “Two beers please,” he ordered. Right away the two beers sat in front of him. He took a long thorough drink. One thing about Jack was that he loved to have fun where ever he found it. He was care free, and high spirited. Rarely did something put him down. He was young. Eighteen, nineteen at that the time, and smart in all sorts of ways.
After he had finished his drinks, he rolled him self a cigarette, lit it with a match he struck on the counter, and took a quick puff. “Jack my pal, what the hell are you doing here?”
That was ol’ Richard the tough guy in town. He was fat alright, the big man, and let me say that Jack felt shy under the eyes of that monstrous figure! “I was getting a drink,” said Jack staying calm. He was a thin guy, and did not intend ol’ Richard to start a fist fight with him. “Oh, is that so?” Ol’ Richard sounded so mean. He must have had a few glasses of liquor before he stumbled into this bar. That could make it worse, thought Jack, or better. He did not know though how Richard reacted to drinks. He just prayed that Richard would spare him. Oh, if only. Richard liked to pick on little boys, and fight with young men. Young men who were smaller than him. He couldn’t stand no men who were as big as him. He despised any man who ever laid a hand on him. He could not loose a fight, it killed him.
Jack headed to the door. “Nice seeing you Richard,” he said in madder-of-fact way. Richard took a blow at his head. Nimbly Jack stepped to the side. Richard’s fist slammed into the wall. Jack stepped out the the door quickly. He had just about been half killed. He laid back against the wall for a moment taking in a long breath of thanks. Then he darted off. Richard would detest him so now. Just imagine his anger that a small thin young man defeated him in a fight with out any blood.
The noise from the bar, the howls from Richard, music, chaos, singing, laughter, dancing feet, drunk men falling off their chairs. All this slowly became the sound of birds twittering in the new morning.


The author's comments:
This was influenced by the Titanic, though when you read it, I believe you will have no idea why it was!

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This article has 4 comments.


on Jul. 26 2011 at 5:27 pm
poetic.eyes PLATINUM, Everson, Washington
23 articles 3 photos 198 comments

Favorite Quote:
eARTh

Thanks so much!

austenite GOLD said...
on Jul. 26 2011 at 2:57 pm
austenite GOLD, River Falls, Wisconsin
13 articles 0 photos 177 comments

Favorite Quote:
...one word from you will silence me forever. If, however, your feelings have changed, I will have to tell you: you have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love....I love...I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on. -Mr. Darcy

Oh that makes sense :) And he is a verrry verrry cute boy. The personality you gave him was spot on!

on Jul. 26 2011 at 1:05 pm
poetic.eyes PLATINUM, Everson, Washington
23 articles 3 photos 198 comments

Favorite Quote:
eARTh

Well the lacking of a plot may be because this was really only the beginning of a story I never finished! The connection to titanic for me was mostly Jack. I did make his personality my own. I am happy you liked him. He seems like a cute boy! ;)

austenite GOLD said...
on Jul. 26 2011 at 12:48 pm
austenite GOLD, River Falls, Wisconsin
13 articles 0 photos 177 comments

Favorite Quote:
...one word from you will silence me forever. If, however, your feelings have changed, I will have to tell you: you have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love....I love...I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on. -Mr. Darcy

I can see the connection to Titanic - I love that movie :) This was an interesting little story - I liked how fast paced it was, but it seemed to lack a plot and had a few grammatical errors.  I really enjoy the character of Jack! He's great :)