As I look out my window at the busy street below me I can see a million different things all at once. I see the cars rushing by, I see the newspaper vendors, and I see a screaming little boy trying to run away from his mother. But none of these things mean anything to me. All I can really see is Allie. It's been five years today since I've seen her. Five long, painful years. I can still remember it like it was yesterday.

I remember waking up that morning to the sound of horns honking and people screaming, then a loud crash. I jumped out of my bed and rushed to the window to see what had happened. I saw three cars piled up on one another, a fourth was slammed into a telephone pole. I rushed downstairs and out my door. I looked at the piled up mess and instantly recognized the car with the most damage done to it. I could tell right away that when they got my best friend and her mom out, it would already be too late. They had been on their way to my house that morning to surprise me and take me out for a birthday breakfast.

I turned around and saw my mom standing in the doorway crying. I could hear police sirens approaching and I watched as traffic built up around the accident. I just wanted to run back upstairs, jump in my bed, and fall asleep again. Maybe when I woke up I would realize that this was all just a horrible nightmare and none of it really happened. I just couldn't believe it.

The only thing that was able to be foraged from the wreck was Allie's necklace. The one that had a Sparrow on it, her favorite animal. She never took it off no matter where she was going. The policemen and Allie's family let me have it as a keepsake.

I spent the rest of my thirteenth birthday curled up in a blanket, staring out my window. The same window I am looking out of now. An ambulance pulled up and I looked on in horror as they quickly moved around trying to help the victims. I opened my mouth, ready to scream at the people below my window. Ready to tell them all to leave and not come back. But they couldn't hear me, and I realized it wouldn't do any good anyway. I just sat there in complete disbelief. Just staring out my window.

The next day, my mother turned on the news and of course, Allie and her mom were the headlining story. The reporter said that a driver distracted by his cell phone swerved over into the wrong lane, just as Allie's mom turned into it. Allie and her mom were killed instantly. The two other cars that were involved in the accident were the ones behind Allie and behind the distracted driver. Nobody except Allie and her mom died. I was furious. This wasn't fair. She was gone, just like that.

Every year since the accident, we get together on my birthday with Allie's family and just relive the past. We go through old photo albums and watch silly home videos that Allie and I made together. Allie's obsession with Sparrows is always a big topic of conversation. She loved them more than she loved people. She used to sit outside for hours just hoping that one might fly past her. Her room was plastered with pictures of Sparrows, some that she had taken herself, others that she had gotten out of the hundreds of nature magazines she had in her bookshelves.

My birthdays aren't exactly the happiest day of the year, but it's how I want to spend it. I want to remember everything. I wish I could turn back time and stop all of this from happening or just live in the past forever with Allie and her mom.

Something outside the window caught my eye. I looked up there, perched on a tree branch right in front of me, was the prettiest Sparrow I have ever seen. I carefully opened the window and instead of becoming startled and flying away like I thought it would, the bird inched closer to me. We sat in silence for a long while, just observing each other. Finally the Sparrow started to sing. I listened to its beautiful melody for a few minutes before I got up and went to my drawer where I keep Allie's necklace. I picked up the necklace and carefully turned it around a few times in my hand. The bird stopped singing. I turned around and it was facing the other way and had its wings spread like it was about to take off. It turned around one last time and the way it looked at me send shivers down my spine. It made a very loud, strange noise that sounded almost human. I could have sworn I heard it say “Allie.” I rushed to the window but right as I did, it flew away. I was startled, but that was just what I needed to set my mind at ease for at least a little while. I knew Allie was still with me, I knew I still had my best friend.