I’m sorry that I lost it. I’m sorry that I lost an iguana in Griffin Park.
I was just waiting behind the tree with the box. I was trying to call Suzy, my girlfriend here. But I accidentally called her mother. She was yelling at me, asking me if I had done it yet. I was yelling at her to be quiet. I mean, I was yelling behind a tree in the park; it was awkward. I knew I couldn’t hang up on your mother, Suzy. She would kill me. So I had to sit and listen. She talks a lot. No offense to your mother of course, Suzy. But I was on the phone for a half hour before I said goodbye.
The problem was, I didn’t notice that the box had been knocked over in my frieze to hide. And when I looked inside, it was gone! Larry the Iguana was gone! I got up quick and checked my watch. Suzy wasn’t supposed to get there for another hour and a half, so I convinced myself that I could find Larry in that amount of time. And c’mon the park isn’t that big.
But boy did I underestimate Larry. I forgot that he was green, so he blended in with the scenery! I looked everywhere, under bushes, up in the trees. I met some weird animals up there. Did you know that there is a wasp nest in the pine tree by the pond? I almost got stung but I was able to jump into the pond before they got me. That’s why I’m all wet. Can I get a towel? Fine, but you better get me one as soon as I finish my story.
After that I walked to the front of the park and sat on a bench. I was really mad and sad and angry at myself. How could I lose Larry? I just felt really stupid and that isn’t a new feeling for me. I’ve always felt stupid. But for some reason when I was with Suzy, it was completely different. I didn’t feel stupid at all! But of course, I screwed up the one thing that really mattered.
When I finally decided to give up the search and meet Suzy to tell her the sad news, I heard a shrill scream. I started running toward the noise, ‘cause that’s not a noise you usually hear in the park. Unless you were me running from the bees. Anyway, I got to the playground and I saw him! Larry! He was just lounging on one of the green slides. A kid was pointing at it, and it’s, meaning the child not the iguana, mother was the one who screamed.
I quickly ran over and attempted to pick up Larry. But he was too far up the slide. I realized that I had to go through the actual play set. The last time I had been on one of those things was probably when I was ten. After that I got too tall for them. Of course, I’ve been growing since so it was a tight fit. Some of the kids started laughing at me, ‘cause I almost got stuck. I finally got to the slide and me and Larry locked eyes. I put my hands out to catch him, but he started moving. So I had to pounce on him. It’s not my fault that the slide broke. I guess I was just too big for the slide. BUT, I caught him! I grabbed him and made sure that the box was still there. I was so happy that it was!
And that’s my story. What? I’m pretty sure that’s the end. Oh, what was in the box? Well, when I fell I heard someone say my name. It was Suzy! I held up the iguana and she squealed with joy. You see, her old Iguana Jerry died last month. So I thought I’d surprise her by buying a new one. She picked it up and held it while I struggled to get on my feet. Then I told her to open the box. I got down on one knee and put the ring on her finger. She hadn’t even said yes yet! But of course she said yes!
Now, officer will you please let me go? I told you my story and I really want to get back. Larry probably misses me terribly. Yea, Suzy probably does too.