The Trash They Peeled from the Bottom of Their Shoes | Teen Ink

The Trash They Peeled from the Bottom of Their Shoes

July 15, 2013
By AineDoyle BRONZE, Pearl River, New York
AineDoyle BRONZE, Pearl River, New York
4 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;My thoughts are stars I cannot fathom into constellations.&rdquo; <br /> ― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars


All he could hear was the clicking of heels, the squeaking of shoes on the rough concrete that shaved the skin off the pads of his fingers when he rubbed along the sidewalk. Underneath the sound of people walking was the miserable drone of car horns, and the rumble of engines of buses and trucks on the street. The air was stale and suffocating with the toxins spewing from the back of cabs and cars.

He was wrapped in blanket after blanket, given to him by charity after charity, as he huddled in the crevice of some odd building somewhere in the city. He couldn’t tell you what building it was or what street it was on. He couldn’t even tell you what borough it was in. He had long since forgotten.

Underneath the blankets, he was wrapped in a thin layer of newspaper that had been slowly deteriorating since the day he obtained them, a day that was long ago, forgotten by now. And, underneath the periodical blanket, skin that was covered with grime, filth and dirt. He hadn’t touched soap and water in years, decades, centuries, millenniums. His nails were black. The bottom of his feet were covered in ash and infected blisters, sores and cuts. His long tangled, knotted hair was dark at the tips, but gray at the roots. In his callused hands, he held an empty, broken Styrofoam coffee cup.

Pedestrians looked down on him with disgust. He was the trash they had peeled off the bottom of their brand-ne custom-made shoes that they threw aside and left to rot. He was worthless, not worthy of their spare change or a second of their precious busy lives. So he stayed there, day after day, year after year, decade after decade, century after century, millennium after millennium, waiting. Waiting for this stagnant hellish life to change, end.

He had some change that was given to him by the occasional immaculate soul that stopped long enough to drop a penny into his cup. It was probably enough to buy something to eat or drink, but he couldn’t tell how much exactly. He couldn’t even find a store or café to buy something to eat, even if he tried. He was hungry. He was homeless. He was blind.


The author's comments:
If you live in New York City,Boston, or any other city in the U.S, then you are familiar with people like the protagonist of this short story. They are everywhere.
It's a disgrace that society looks down on the homeless as if they were scum. It's disgusting how the media uses them for comedy. It isn't funny that they have no choice to sleep out in the cold in the dead of winter and that they have to beg on street corners for measly amounts of money for small portions of food that won't sustain them.
I wrote this piece at a writing program at a local college. I don't know if I'm going to build on it or not, but for now, I am content with the product. Please, enjoy, and remember the moral of the story.

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This article has 7 comments.


on Aug. 3 2013 at 9:22 pm
Quartermaster PLATINUM, Los Angeles, California
21 articles 8 photos 28 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;They tell us sir that we are weak. Unable to cope with so formidable an adversary. But when will we be stronger?&quot;

Your fantastic and thoughtout details match perfectly with the tone and tell this man's story without out flashback. However I feel like I don't really know the character, he's static and a little flat. A conversation, a flashback, a thought of his, could shed light on his character, and help the audience sympathize with him more.

on Aug. 3 2013 at 4:58 pm
BlackbeltJames GOLD, Reading, Other
14 articles 0 photos 193 comments

Favorite Quote:
Isaac Asimov - &quot;Intelligence is an accident of evolution, and not necessarily an advantage.&rdquo;

Your descriptions are very detailed and well thoughtout, however, there is a massive lack of a plot here. There is a suprise that he is blind at the end and there is a strong moral and meaning within the story, but as much as this is realistic and down to Earth, it is things that everyone already knows. I would suggest throwing in some twists. I'm not saying throw in another character that the homeless person is secretly spying on and is a hitman or a secret agent, but something subtle and realistic and can still carry on the same realism and meaning; maybe you could talk about his past, maybe he was very unlucky, or maybe something then happens to change his life so he can repay the guy who helped him. Expand on it and this, along with your description could go far, but it became a little tedious by the end, but it was eased up by your brilliant and interesting decriptive language.
I hope this helps because you have potential to do well, just come up with an interesting story, remember it can still be realistic while maintaining an interesting story.

None0 BRONZE said...
on Aug. 3 2013 at 4:29 am
None0 BRONZE, Bellevue, Washington
2 articles 0 photos 96 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Believe in the ideal, not the idol.&quot; - Serra

The descriptions are nice, but that's pretty much it. There is no real sense of progression, or a good sense of conclusion. All I can say is, try making a little more progression to the story, otherwise it just sounds like an excuse to write pure description (which may be the case, but a storyline, even a weak one, is essential to give your readers a sense of conclusion).   You could have the story end with how the person ends their day, then proceed with something stating that it would only be the same the next day, or something like that. It would make the reader think more that it's the end of your piece, not that you've simply stopped describing what's going on, which is what I feel when I reach the ending.

on Aug. 2 2013 at 11:22 pm
Claudia.VII BRONZE, N/A, California
2 articles 0 photos 51 comments

Favorite Quote:
\&quot;Let them eat cake.\&quot; -Marie Antoinette.<br /> \&quot;Genius is born-- not paid.\&quot; -Oscar Wilde.<br /> \&quot;Press the button, we\&#039;ll do the rest.\&quot; -George Eastman<br /> \&quot;If you\&#039;re going through hell, keep on going.\&quot; - Winston Churchill

I know I'm not a poet, any more than I might or might not be an author, but I try to find a "rhythm" in the way people write. Prose, metaphors, allegories, and all those other fancy terms they teach you to use in English class for relatively simple concepts. I liked this piece because I wasn't forced to search a word up in the dictionary every five seconds because the writer chose to "use their big boy words", and thank you for that. :) I like the use of simple language for a relatively complex problem, and it's good that there are people like you trying to get a message out there. Keep on keeping on, see ya around, one day.

on Jul. 31 2013 at 4:34 pm
WriteOrWrong BRONZE, Grosse Pointe, Michigan
3 articles 0 photos 105 comments

Favorite Quote:
Sometimes you just need to take a nap and get over it. -Maura Stuard

Your descriptions are phenomenal. I was in the downtown of the big city with this man. You made it sound so real, and great end. I think what is really important though in these kinds of pieces are humanizing the character. The part where you revealed his blindness humanized him. You gave him a story. Humanize him more. Fantastic imagery. Just reread for a couple of mistakes. Wonderful job. 

on Jul. 23 2013 at 1:07 pm
Carly_Elizabeth PLATINUM, Othello, Washington
39 articles 0 photos 131 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don&#039;t believe in magic will never find it.&quot; <br /> Roald Dahl

P.s. the description in this is perfect. 

on Jul. 23 2013 at 1:06 pm
Carly_Elizabeth PLATINUM, Othello, Washington
39 articles 0 photos 131 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don&#039;t believe in magic will never find it.&quot; <br /> Roald Dahl

Wow, this is amazing. I love how passionate you are about the homeless and I can totally relate because I live in a poor town where children live on the streets. I agree that society is horrible for making the homeless a laughing stock. I really like this and I hope you build up on it.