When you fall asleep at night, what do you see when you close your eyes? Do you see your mistakes of the day? Do you see the things that you wish you could change? I pray for you my friend. My words simply a silent whisper, air on my lips. I hope for you and dream of you. I take the burdens you don’t want to and I make them my own. Do you love me yet?

You’ll never love me, will you? I am simply your guardian angel and you’re too busy thanking the world to thank me. Even as I sit with my head in my hands, watching you make another mistake and knowing that I’ll be the one to help you fix it. Breathe deeply my child; let it all out with the breath you take. Don’t be afraid because I’ll be here for you.

Anytime you need me all you have to do is call. I’ll come running. I don’t have wings to fly, but I have legs to walk and lungs to breathe. I have a heart to hurt and arms to hold you. Do you feel afraid? I don’t know why. I’ll always save you. Have I abandoned you yet? Not by my own choice. Even when you feel like you have no one I’m still here. You’ll never bother me and I’ll always put you first. You know that if someone needs me more that I’ll disappear but I’ll be back. Not everyone has an angel.

Do you think of me? I wish you would. I always think of you. You need me more but I like saving you. I like knowing things. Maybe I do need you more than you need me. Not because I love you but because I love helping. I love you, but wings have to lift on air, not feeling.

If I save you again do you think I’ll get my wings? Is there a limit to this sort of thing? I don’t think so but sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever fly. I want to fly. I want to fly far away and look down on everyone in their little ant-hill worlds. I’ll see all the people struggling. I’ll drink the tears as they fall from their eyes. Do you think maybe they’ll love me as well? Shouldn’t everyone love an angel?

All I’m trying to tell you is that I want a thank you. It’s so little to ask for yet so much to receive. I know you don’t think of it often but it would be nice if you would. Think of me. I’ve said that already, haven’t I? Maybe because I’m still hoping, I’ll always hope. I’ll always yearn for your affection. Will you give it to me then? Maybe when death presses its lips to mine and takes me with it. Maybe then you’ll love me. Then I will be your angel. Looking down from heaven and breathing in clouds, blowing them back out like the smoke from your cigarettes. You’re welcome my dear.