I watched in baffled admiration as my sister Julia twirled her hair and shifted from foot to foot as she talked to the boy in front of her. According to Julia, she was flirting, as I would always feel the need to clarify once we were well away from the boy. I didn’t understand what anybody would find appealing about a girl laughing too loud and hanging on your every word as if you were telling them the cure for cancer. Julia’s voice came out higher than usual, and she would over-exaggerate her laugh, tossing her head back, before straightening up and running a hand through her hair.

Whenever this need to impress a boy came over my sister, she would bite her lip and straighten her shirt. She would glance in the mirror before smiling and yanking open the car door. Then she would turn to me, and the corner of her lips would pull down for a split second. She would give me a curt, “Stay in the car,” and off she went.

A few moments later, Julia was climbing back into the car. She buckled her seat belt and sighed happily. I cleared my throat, but she still didn’t say anything. She put the car into reverse, and I cleared my throat for the second time.

Again, I was met with silence.

“Didn’t you hear me?” I asked, and in the mirror I saw her eyes flicker in my direction.

“Yes, Eli,” she sighed. “I did hear you.”

I waited for her to go on, but after a few seconds of silence I realized she wasn’t going to. “Then why didn’t you answer?” I asked, my voice involuntarily coming out as a whine.

“Because,” she started, pulling the car to a stop and flicking the switch to let cars behind us know we were turning right. “I don’t have to say anything if I don’t want to,” she finished.

“But I cleared my throat!” I protested, trying to make her see the rude mistake she’d made.

“I don’t have to give you an answer every time you clear your throat,” she answered simply. “I don’t even have to talk to you at all if I don’t feel like it. Now stop being nosey!”

I opened my mouth to protest, but she cut me off by turning on the radio. I flinched at the sudden blaring of somebody talking way to fast to hear anything he was saying. I was going to ask her to turn it down, but when I turned to her she raised an eyebrow and I knew she wasn’t in the mood to deal with me.

I slumped down in my seat and stared out the window. I couldn’t even read my book, The Hunger Games, which frankly wasn’t that great of a book.

The whole book was revealed in the simple promise Katniss made to Prim, telling her she wouldn’t be picked. Once she’d said that, it was obvious Prim would be chosen, and Katniss, being the ever-perfect sister, would have to take her place. Peeta would come in, because the love aspect needed to be introduced or else the book wouldn’t be so popular with girls.

They would both have to live some way or another, since the characters were so connected and involved in each other’s lives.

Sigh.

But it was my book club’s choice. The special kid’s book club, according to my sister when she thought I wasn’t listening.

It’s the book club at the Wyoming Beautiful Children Activity Center and Hospital, the place I’ve spent years of my life, seeing doctors, going to drawing classes, playing dodge ball. I hate dodge ball. I think it’s a stupid game where the weak kids are pummeled by the muscle-y, coordinated kids.

I hate dodge ball.

The only reason I actually enjoy going to the place full of mentally challenged, slow learning kids is to see my friend Melina Bryant.

I met her when I was twelve and she was coming for cancer treatment. She was also twelve, and had been struggling with cancer for the past five years. She went into remission a few months after I met her, but she was weak and got sick every other day, so her parents decided to keep her here and they moved their whole family out to Wyoming.

I was secretly hoping they’d do that. Cause Melina is my friend.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I walked into the familiar room where the book club meeting was held every second Tuesday of every month. It was held in the ‘Quiet Room’ where kids went to do quiet activities.

The room was covered in cut out ‘be quiets’ and ‘shhs.’ The words were placed throughout the room in different fonts, colors and sizes. Accompanying the cutouts were pictures of people reading and coloring and writing.

There were three or four colorful beanbags in the corner surrounding a table that was cluttered with puzzle pieces.

That was where Cindy and Josh wanted the book club to be held, but I despise puzzles because they confuse me. They finally agreed to discuss our month’s book choice at the table with some coaxing from Miss Eve. She said they could pull the beanbags up instead of sitting in the plastic, hard-backed chairs and now that we were at the table, we could have snacks, too.

I liked Miss Eve because she had a soft voice and was pixie-like in size. People who tower over me frighten me a little. It’s like being two feet tall and staring up at a skyscraper – it’s overwhelming.

To add to Miss Eve’s pixie effect, her brown hair was cropped short, and her eyes were big and brown. She smiled up at me from where she was placing spoonfuls of applesauce in José’s mouth.

José joined our book club a few weeks ago and needed a lot of help from Miss Eve. The fact that her attention wasn’t on him anymore made Josh mad and he wouldn’t talk to her when she asked him a question. He would just sniff and shove some more pretzels in his mouth.

I didn’t really like José that much, either. He was a slow reader and wouldn’t talk in discussions. And when he did it came out all jumbled and nobody knew what he said.

I informed my mother of my hatred for him and she scolded me. She said hate was a strong word and I shouldn’t hate anybody. Then she went on to say how I was to be nice to José at all times and I couldn’t say anything mean to him. She started in on how we are all special in our own way and how I wouldn’t like it if somebody was mean to me because I was a slow reader.

I reminded her, very politely may I add, that I was a very fast reader and I always talked in discussion.

She got mad and took away my book, saying I could get it back when I had redeemed myself of my disrespect.

That night I found my book under my pillow. I suspect my dad put it there when my mother wasn’t looking.

“Hello, Eli!” Miss Eve chirped in a happy tone. I blinked a few times, forcing the memory out of my head to process what had been said to me.

“Good afternoon, Miss Eve,” I responded. Then, remembering what my mother said, I turned to José “Hello, José.”

I waited for a response but just got an unfocused stare as drool dribbled down his chin. “He says hello, Eli,” Miss Eve explained after a moment of silence.

“How do you know that?”

I didn’t mean to offend her, but as she blinked I realized I had caught her off-guard. “I mean—that’s good!” I hurriedly breathed out. Miss Eve only laughed and patted the table across from her.

“Take a seat. How did you like the book?”

I took a deep breath. “Not my favorite,” I started into my analysis, pulling out my notes. “I thought the plot was predictable and—,”

“MISS EVE!” Josh shouted from the doorway and I snapped my mouth closed, narrowing my eyes. Apparently he got over his bitterness towards her.

“Hello, Josh. C’mon in! Eli was just telling me his thoughts about the book,” she answered calmly.

“Aw, man,” Josh said, scooting the chair out from the table with a loud scraaaaape. “I wanted to go first.”

“Maybe next time,” Miss Eve said through a chuckle. “Eli, please continue. I don’t think Cindy’s coming today. And Maggie is running late.”

Maggie was the quiet girl I liked most out of the group. Except, of course, Miss Eve and Melina. But everyone here likes them.

“Anyway,” I cleared my throat, “The plot was too predictable. Of course, after Katniss said that Prim wasn’t going to get picked—,”

“She was going to get picked! Exactly my thoughts!” Josh butted in. “I also knew that Claudius Templesmith was lying when he said the two tributes from the same district could win together! I knew he was lying, I knew it! I knew it!”

“That’s great Josh,” Miss Eve murmured, wiping up some excess applesauce from José’s chin, “but Eli is talking. Please, apologize to him and wait your turn to speak—ah, Maggie, take a seat.”

Maggie smiled at me as she sat down in the seat next to me and across from Josh. I cleared my throat and glared at Josh before continuing. “Of course Prim was going to get picked because Katniss had said she wouldn’t. It was dramatic irony. It was also clear that both characters were going to live,” I elaborated.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Josh nod his head frantically. I continued, “Because both of them were so involved in each other’s lives, with the bread he gave her, and in the outcome of the situation they were in. They had to pretend to be in love. I found the whole story too predictable. Overall, I didn’t enjoy this month’s book.”

Since we all have something to say about the book, the order we share our opinions in goes in a circle. Therefore, it was Maggie’s turn.

“I really liked it!” she exclaimed. It wasn’t that big of a shock, since Maggie seemed to like every book we read. “I thought it was very detailed, and I absolutely adored the scene when Susanne was describing what each tribute was wearing in the opening parade!”

She went on about how she could vividly see each character, and loved Rue and Katniss’s connection. She could have gone on and on, but Miss Eve stopped her to give Josh his turn.

An hour and a half later, once we had all shared our thoughts and all the snacks were eaten, Miss Eve said it was over and we could go meet our parents. But before I could get out the door, she called me back. “Oh, Eli! Eli, wait a second!” she called, beckoning me back with her hand. Just at that moment another aid came in and wheeled José out of the room. “Thanks, Becky!” Miss Eve shouted after her.

When she turned back to me, her face fell. “Oh boy,” she muttered, before plopping down in one of the beanbag chairs. “Eli, you may have been wondering why Melina hasn’t been coming to book club.”

I nodded my head rapidly. Melina hadn’t come the past three times. I hadn’t seen her when I came for my appointments, either.

Miss Eve took a big shaky breath. “Well, Melina got a high fever about a month and a half ago. She recovered when her fever broke, but a few days later, her health got worse very quickly.” She paused, and looked me dead in the eye, before quickly looking at the bright colored cut outs on the walls. “On Tuesday,” she continued, her voice breaking, “she was put on life support.”

I felt my heart beat faster. I wrung my hands, which were suddenly moist with sweat. “A-and?” I stuttered.

“And by Thursday morning…she had passed away.”

Silence filled the room just as quickly as an aching filled my heart. Melina was…dead? I blinked furiously to fight back the tears. But it was no use, and before I knew it the hot tears had spilled over and were racing down my cheeks.

“I’m so sorry, buddy.” I jumped at the sudden sound of my mother’s voice. She wrapped her arm around my shoulder and rubbed soothing circles. I shrugged away from her, not wanting to talk to anybody.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My feet seemed to have a mind of their own and I didn’t know where I was going until I was there. Melina’s old room.

Except it was different. The colorful posters of kittens, and singers and pictures of her family and friends no longer occupied the walls. Instead, I was met with the sickening white of hospital walls.

Instead of her polka-dotted purple sheets, the bed was now covered in a white sheet and one measly pillow.

And the most devastating of all, there was no longer a happy, blue-eyed girl determined to beat her illness. In the space my friend had once sat was a feeling of abandonment and grief.

Suddenly, I realized Julia’s flirting wasn’t silly. I realized it was something someone dear to me had tried to do to me. Melina had been flirting with me. But I was too naïve to notice, and too caught up in my books to care.

But what hurt the most was that I realized I’d had a crush on her, too.

Those feelings would never progress because Melina was gone. Her feelings for me would be buried with her and mine would be left by her grave.

I knew I would never get over the sick girl I’d first seen, who slowly transformed into a strong, determined girl I’d love to hang out with.

After standing in her empty room, I turned and left. I shut the door behind me, and walked down the long, vacant hallway. Past the other rooms where I could hear the murmur of other patients and see the colors of a TV flashing. I didn’t look to my right as I passed the front desk and I closed my eyes once I’d pushed through the doors.

I stood out front, with my eyes closed and hands by my side and imagined Melina following the same path I’d just walked. And I imagined her standing here, by my side.

I realized then that my mother didn’t bring me here because I was smarter than other kids at public school, but because I was different from them. And Melina had been different, and so were Josh, Cindy, José and Maggie.

But that’s okay. Because being the same is boring and if I hadn’t been different I wouldn’t have met Melina.

And the people here didn’t look at me weirdly and didn’t make me sit in the car like Julia did. They accepted me even when my own sister didn’t.

Family is technically about the people who share the same blood as you, but true family are the people around you who accept who you are and love you all the same.