I remember it so vividly. I was 10 years old the first time I was attacked. The dimmed lights made it hard to see his face, but the smell of bleach and stale cigarettes made it very clear who my attacker was. For some odd reason, my body was paralyzed. I was afraid yet I had no idea why. I knew who this man was, and before that day, he’d never hurt me.
“What’re you doing?” I asked, my voice trembling, as he climbed on top of me. His dry, cracked hand was over my mouth before I could say anything else. That was the first time he hurt me.
For the following year, my parents kept allowing him to babysit me and my younger sister. He never attacked her, leaving her in her room for the day. My parents never suspected anything when I was the only one who had bathed during the time he watched us. They never knew why my hair was always done up and why I’d always have dresses and no panties. Of course, they believed every one of the excuses he came up with, completely oblivious to the fact that their little girl wasn’t so little anymore.
It didn’t take long before I turned to a razor, or a lighter, or scissors, or anything sharp at that. Everyday I’d cut myself anywhere my parents wouldn’t see. My attacker never seemed to be bothered by the terrible, scabbed cuts that covered my stomach and legs.
Finally the day came, the final day of my life. I couldn’t take it anymore. I grabbed the big orange scissors from the teachers desk and mad my way out of the classroom. I ran out of the back door, down the trail and into the woods. I quickly opened the scissors and put the inside of the blade to my wrist. Pulling to the right quickly, I watched the skin spread open and the blood pour onto the ground.
Other students from the school discovered my body while walking home. Doctors soon realized what was happening at home and soon after, my attacker was convicted. Nobody realizes the pain that one endures. A smile covers up all of that pain. Maybe if my parents paid closer attention, they’d have realized what truly happened to their little girl.

R.I.P. Cassey. I’m sorry nobody understood.